If you wear glasses, then - and I say this with the greatest sensitivity - the mohican is off the table for you as a haircut option. It's not for you.

The chubby forty year old man sticking with Paul Weller's haircut: ok, but watch yourself - look to ease out of that into something better in the next 5 years for the sake of your children.

And to you, the blond caucasian with matted locks any longer than a wine bottle, I say, rather more forcefully:

Mr Gorbachev - TEAR DOWN THESE DREADS

Does anyone want to talk about the Rocky films? I've just foolishly purchased all 6 of them on DVD