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more like Guardian LOLmates!
even my employers want me to stay alone and miserable
had 3 dates. 2 geeks and one cheif.
he sounds intriguing
Surely chiefs are in charge?
You're a proper commander and no mistake.
Anyway, the point is, meths is a shrub. AT EASE, SOLDIER.
English is Left
Got over him by finding someone on soulmates and marrying them and having a BAYYBEEE. She was a bit of a twat.
Writer, painter and inventor of time machines who is impossibly in love with with The Kinks, red skies and zombie films. After returning from a recent stint in Brooklyn, New York -- where I made a living writing newspaper stories about crime, politics and space aliens -- I now run a magazine for an evilish media company and illustrate children's books about dinosaurs.
Other things I am a fan of include -- baking cakes, Paul Auster, Peter Cook, Bob Dylan's radio show, Spaced, filling notepads with inky drawings, sea monsters, Tuscany, Iggy Pop, Italo Calvino, Rimbaud, Michel Gondry-style music videos, the Flaming Lips, playing the aeroplane game with my nieces and the New York Mets.
(Essentially I am motivated, highly creative person who loves meeting new people and exploring the world. Those who cannot dream up zombie defense strategies need not apply.)
An actual advert, or your own work?
is instantly damning
someone I know put an ad in Time Out saying "Scumbag punk squatter trash musician, 30 going on 16 with nothing to offer, WLTM attractive rich older woman who is willing to put up with a lot of shit." He got 22 responses.
Did he meet any of them? I'd love to know the calibre of a woman who replies to that advert.
where you describe yourself and your interests without coming across as a total bell? I know I'd struggle..mainly because a lot of the time I'm a total bell. But, y'know, hypothetically, can it be done?
then yes, its possible. use as few words as possible. and use old photographs.
If you're a total bell that's the place to find a date.
It's just really easy to pull every word apart when all you have to go on is all they've said there. If I wrote down my interests I would have no trouble in pulling them apart and making myself sound like a complete plank. NO COMMENTS ON THIS PLEASE THANKS.
I like Chumbawamba (Hi! I'm a wannabe anarchist without the balls to do anything about it! I probably also have a dog on a string and a Levellers t-shirt!) my favourite film is Leon (Mmmm, YOUNG GIRL! Paedo-time!) I like going to the local pub rather than a bright shiny chain bar (It's reverse snobbery time! I like the smell of old men's farts, bitter with twigs in it and sopping wet dogs! Sometimes I sit in the pub on my own! LIKE A LONER!) When at home I like nothing more than kicking back and watching The Bill (mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa) and I'm a big fan of birdwatching (christ almighty. I'm actually the world's most tedious man).
PM me Lh8trzzz :-D
if not more
On Thursday we all LoLed when a guy on who works on the same floor as us had his profile appear on that spot on the Guardian HOMEPAGE!! Which would be a 1 in 100,000 chance if their numbers are to be believed. Much group email mockery ensued the rest of the afternoon.
this guy is actually a nice bloke, although you'd think he was insufferable if you only read his profile. So maybe the people aren't insufferable, just the way they write their profiles
I won't believe it.
Are you ok?
and she wanted to know what I was doing looking at a dating site in her absence
what if your picture got in the guide on a saturday?!
I'm kinda only saying this in case someone sees me on there. Pre-emptive strike and all.
Someone once sent me the most insufferable message through it. She had no picture, but wrote hundreds of words of bunny-boilery, 'can-you-handle-this-much-woman' style madness. On reflection, I judged that I probably could not handle that much woman.
is sandi toksvig?
That much woman.
but she wears a.. no, actually I'm not going there
which, fittingly is grot backwards also
big big lose.
MAYBE TORG AND NICE MAN GO FOR COCKTAILS AND SNACKS
MAYBE TORG GIVE NICE MAN HER SECRET FLOWER
I’m 70% Blousey Brown: 30% Tallulah, and *all* about the random ‘cultural’ references. The last Guardian Soulmate I met described me as “weird, but in a benign way.” Hmm…
I’m fundamentally a standing-in-the-corner-at-parties sort of person, although I have my moments: I love to dance Salsa.
I’m a recovering Classicist, ongoing theatrical designer and current nursery school Special Needs worker (by day)/Psychology student (by early evening).
I’m disproportionately enthused by stationery, afternoon tea and being just a bit silly.
See for yourself?
(NB: I realise that I’ve overused ‘I’m’ and paragraphs).
I know a couple who met through it, and neither reads the guardian. I think the only prestige it has over other similar websites it that it costs an ASSLOAD of money..
I'm filled with generic rage!
i might make a profile and see what happens.
that people would be desperate enough to pay for this..)
is that dudes make free profiles, and then a piece of sophisticated software carefully calculates a titillating message or two from one or more hotties. Said dude pays his cash, never to hear from fake AI girl again.
(until the software develops sentience, but if you want to find out how that works out you'll have wait for my sitcom to get commissioned)
are all pretty awesome actually, surprisingly.
A friend got some great (genuine) responses to his profile:
"N. London-based media type seeks f**king disaster of a girlfriend to help me f**k up my life good and proper before I finally wave goodbye to my 20s. Terrifying drink and drug problem and cavalier attitude to sexual health preferred.
My friends say variously that I'm a moral vacuum, bookish and cerebral, twattish, probably gay and I have a messiah complex."
but you should move to North London.
they have a "most popular" section:
The guy I was talking about up there ^^ is on that list as well
Oh, this is priceless
is straight outta American Psycho
That thought did cross my mind.
one of them got to number 3 most elligible (or whatever the chart thing is)
We all know how you met your 'girl' 'friend' though will.
How we all laugh at those who use the internet to meet people!
anyone wanna set up a joint account? We could pretty much convince people that we were schitsofrenic.
you don't have to pay, if you don't want to write messages, right?