You fart more after eating 'healthy' foods, like beans or sprouts or brocolli or whatever, right? So, ergo, is it good for you? Or does it only happen because you're a smelly wee tramp? Should farting in fact be looked at as a sign of health rather than a sign that you need to lock yourself in the toilet for a few hours? What purpose does it actually serve? If you hold them in do you swell up and cause irreparable damage to yourself?

Let's talk about farting.