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IS BRITAIN GOING TO THE DOGS?
Quack survey reveals that tinned dog food sends you mad.
something like that.
WHY DOES FERN BRITTON WANT TO WORK?
Cuddly TV host feels domestic drudgery sells her short.
CILLA BLACK RAPED ST CHRISTOPHERS TEARS, SAYS MAN IN 20s
SIMON COWELL HAD THE LAST BISCUIT
That would have been funnier
PAGE 3: Loft insulation goes against everything we fought for in the Great War
Harry's Binge-Drink-Birthday: 20 Bottles of Beer in 3 Hours - The Mail says: What Would Diana Think?
More of a Daily Express headline
'ARE IMMIGRANTS TAKING UP TOO MUCH OF THE PAVEMENT?..99.97 WORKING CLASS PEOPLE THINK SO'
'BBC SHITS IN A TIN'
An exclusive Daily Mail poll says maybe.
INVASION! 28 Billion Poles to blame for beer price rise.
The Poles have come to eat your babies etc etc
One PC busybody was overheard saying "that bastard Jesus better watch his f**king back. I got me a shiv with his name on it."
this shocking survey suggests that well over 1% of polish migrants are paedophiles.
Richard Littlejohn special, pages 1-987
but what will we do when the hoodie wearing Polish Muslim Paedo's take over and cancel Christmas eh? EH?
We're all gonna end up sat around crying in shittily lit rooms pining for the days of proper lightbulbs. And Littlejohn, Phillip's et al will dance around laughing at us in the nicely lit bunker they've been building under the Daily Mail offices, pretending it's the 50's and everythings just dandy.
p.3 "RACIST BBC HOST IS DISGRACE"
p.4 "HYPOCRISY VOTED DAILY MAIL 'SIN OF THE YEAR'"
Richard Littlejohn talks to Martin Samuel - pages 1 - 7,97564