1) is tip-exing my beard the only way to make working on xmas day go off with a bang?

2) xmas lights that are just a multicoloured string of regular sized lightbulbs. not really xmas lights?

3) im puffing with rage at cunting play.com. i order something weeks in advance...they send me the wrong thing and then dont send me the right thing in time for xmas, so my sister has no present. any point in trawling the minutiae of the site to find an e-mail address to send a strongly worded letter?...

or shall i just let the rage slip back down and works its way into an embolism, knowing full well that there is no point with these big wigged fat cat corporations...the man is impenetrable...exact same thing with bus companies... the wall cannot be marked, let alone broken down....all dissent is futile etc,etc.

4) xmas....a perfectly good abbreviation, or shit?