This morning a bit of my dad's handkerchief was peeking out of his jeans (please don't make an innuendo of this, this isn't the t-shirt section at Burton's).

I warned him that this is some sort of code, he didn't understand, so when we got home I showed him this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handkerchief_code

I didn't realise it was such an elaborate code, it was a white hanky so it turns out he was broadcasting to everyone in Tesco's he was up for some mutual masturbation. No one took him up on the offer though and I told him not to get too down about it.

REFRAIN FROM THE USE OF BURNT UMBER HANDKERCHEIFS