I held a door open at work for a woman who had arms full of boxes containing what looked like paper or something. I didn't stop to check. Anyway, I was aware that during the entire interaction she was staring at my nether regions, so much so that I thought my flies must be undone and that the vicar was at the door, or something. I didn't check in front of her, but a furtive enquiry seconds later confirmed everything was as it should be, i.e. flies firmly zipped up. I'm not sure what her game was.

It got me thinking, though; if someone somehow was to get a quick glance at Little Judge right now in his current state of indifference, they would assume that I have a tiny penis. And rightly so; right now there is next to nothing of interest to report. However, whilst I'm no Linford Christie I do think I'd feel a bit hard done by if opinion was to be garnered on current impressions. I guess my question is, should us blerks wear badges with our cock dimensions on to save any embarrassing situations further down the line? Should I randomly declare to strangers that I don't have a really tiny penis? Or should I just strap a cucumber to my thigh?

Any ideas greatly appreciated, thanks