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with a brief description of the gold held within, please..
Corpulent TV star Lisa Riley crouched over a weedy mans face, guffing, with a lighter in hand.
I think that's the only comedy porn I've seen.
Its a man, dressed like Edward Scissorhands, except where each hand should be he has...a big penis.
Much fucking ensues.
pterodactyl porn where the fellas are dressed up, flapping wings and squawking with a little puppet bobbing at the side
smurf porn where its people dressed up and painted as smurfs
One of them seems to have a thing for them :S
Rich guy picks up hobo chick on side of road and takes her back to his mansion for some red hot pork action. He takes her to the back garden and starts doing her in the missionary position over a tree stump. The guy's butler walks over holding a tray of drinks, puts them down, unzips himself and casually urinates over the rutting couple. He then shakes, zips up and walks off, never to be seen on camera again.
It takes a special kind of rich to have a guy dressed as a butler on standby to piss all over you every time you nail a vagrant.
OH MY GOD! I think that is exactly the porn I was going to describe. Like, literally the same movie.
The best thing is that I've totally forgotten that part happened because it's totally been overwritten in my mind by the entertainingly lurid play-by-play commentary by an unseen French/German/Belgian/Afrikaans narrator that occurs throughout. "Unt now, he is pissing on her asshole! She LUFFS it!"
Me and my friends always referred to this porn as Hand of God, by the way. Because of the high volume of fisting involved, natch.
P.S. Actually the butler does come back later. One of the girls only has one hole filled. He evidently can't let this wastefulness continue unchallenged.
What are the odds? Of all the weird porn in all the world....
Sadly I don't think there was sound on the copy I saw: it was a really knackered old VHS tape. That scene is permanently etched in my memory though. I saw it at a friends house the night after a party: he broke into his Dad's porn stash and we all sat around hungover watching it for some fucked up reason. The dude had a terrifying amount of porn, just crates and crates of the stuff. And it was all just as fucked up. During the same session we watched a film called "FIST POWER!" which explains itself, and a porno we all agreed was of the highest quality until the end credits flashed up with the title "FAMILY REUNION." I nearly threw up.
I feel sorry for you dude. That porn changed my life - specifically, the narrator. I still say reference him in everyday life: "Her asshole is so large, you could fit a truck into it! I prefer a tight one!"
Don't suppose you remember the title?
I'd ask the owner of the vid but we stopped talking to him after he developed a taste for shockingly young girls...
featuring former wrestlers Joanie 'Chyna' Laurer and Sean 'X-Pac' Waltman. A lifetime of steroid abuse has left Chyna with what appears to be a penis.
was a copy of a copy of a copy from the seventies that featured a woman dragging a guy around by his cock demanding that he ‘act like a duck’. The sight of a scary, hairy beardy naked bloke squatting on the floor flapping his arms and shouting ‘Quack Quack’ furiously while being wanked remains one of the most baffling sights of my youth.