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or done the unforgivable, a trouser mudmask?
repeat, dailybumbler to thread please
Last weeing: 13 years of age.
Last crapping: 24 years of age.
...pissing all over some coats, down my mate's bannister and with soaking wet socks.
whilst snowboarding with my friend and his family. I was unable to hold on. Other notable events were:
* Buying my first porno
* closing my foreskin in my zip and it bleeding
* snowboarding over my friend's wrist and breaking it
Shitting was during a lunch-break at work. I went to the park and sat on a knoll reading a book. I guffed and it was a wet mess. Had to walk back to the office with my bag held behind me. Flushed my grundies and finished my day's work.
courtesy of a very strong spliff.
I have never touched drugs since.
Then: realisation of dampness
Saw: Pee mark approx size of a jam jar lid on settee
Consequence: All friends evacuated from house
Moral: Don't take drugs, kids.
it wouldnt be QUITE so bad if it was your house
*weeally mine LOL
was when we were about 10 at primary school. it was the school assembly in the gym, so we were all sat crosslegged on the floor listening to some teacher, when all of a sudden people started pushing and tripping over each other, running from the centre of the room. as more people parted a kid came into view, bang smack in the centre of the room, still sat crossed legged, surrounded by a pool a wee that kept getting bigger and spreading out, and it ended up with about 100 kids backed against the walls screaming whilst this kid sat like a castle in the middle of a moat.
i havent pissed or shit myself since i was very small, which is pretty good. the last one i remember was about 3 or 4 on holiday, and i hadnt gone for a poo in a few days, and my dad tickled me in the pool and i dropped a floater out of my trunks, ala kevin and perry, which my dad then had to scoop up with a plastic bag and run through the hotel reception with (the bag had those tiny holes in too, so there was shitty jets of water pissing out of either side) to get to a toilet.
I think you just made Post of the Year
I just peed myself laughing*
although I wasn't the pisser.
one of my friends mums was out on a walk, and needed to pee, so she went up a hill a bit to be mostly out of sight.
However, she foolishly faced towards the top of the hill, and as she started to wee she suddenly fell over backwards, and proceeded to roll down the hill, weeing as she went, creating a sort of Catherine Wheel effect and ending up drenched in warm wet pee. lovely!
Most of the time when i'm laughing i'm having to hold it in, luckily i haven't failed for quite a long time (Y)
<3 :'D that's too good.
first night ever at uni i got so drunk i passed out in my bathroom and weed myself. thankfully i made it back to my bathroom eh!
simply adjusting my body to move from sitting in the car to standing beside it nearly let the wee out
and then when the school coach broke suddenly it began to roll down towards the other end of the bus. Not a good moment.
but it definitely bumped into a few pairs of Clarks on its way up the bus.
was taken home by a kind friend, and woke up next morning to find my whole bed and clothes I was wearing pretty much sodden with still lukewarm piss.
I'm not sure I've ever repeated that to people who I actually know in real life. And I have never - NEVER - drunk cider since; even the smell of it makes me want to gag.
But it might be true.
you should come and see The Last Dinosaur, The Tupolev Ghost and CRS* at The Portland Arms in Cambridge on the 6th December, that's what.
I should probably change my status, though in many ways Cambridge feels like home...
We were staying at some hotel just outside Newcastle and had been in town for muchos beer and curry, but we were trying to stay relatively sensible as we'd a busy day of paintball and karting the next day. We return to the hotel and go to our rooms. Me and this guy are sharing a twin room and we both go to sleep. The next morning was an early one, so i was surprised to see my mate's bed empty however, i presumed he'd just gone down to breakfast...seeing all his stuff including wallet, room key etc. on the side was odd, admittedly. I get downstairs and ask around but no-one's seen him. The groom-to-be goes off looking for him, thinking he may have passed out somewhere, but comes back empty-handed as it were. He does however have an amusing tale of how a dog has done a runny shit all along the second floor corridor. How we laugh. After a few minutes, another mate comes downstairs with the news that the disappearing guy is in fact asleep in his room, naked...all a bit odd, but we think nothing more of it.
We do paintball and return to the hotel where we're greeted by the hotel manager. He takes the groom-to-be into his office and alerts him to the fact that one of our party woke up a family on the second floor at 5am this morning with some loud noises. When they opened the door, they saw him crawling along whilst leaving curry-fuelled deposits all along the corridor. Obviously, the complained and demanded some action be taken. The understanding manager decided not to chuck us out but instead kept our deposit, which poo-boy duly paid. The fact that he can't remember anything apart from being at reception in his pants asking for keys to a room he wasn't even staying in (which he scarily got) makes it even more torrid a tale, as his £280 poo (our deposit money) will go unremembered by him...
dogs do when they have itchy anus. Superb.
what a guy.
has a better shit-related story.
It involves being at an all-boys boarding school adjoining an all-girls one, drinking illicitly on some common ground between the two, stopping a girl getting sexually assaulted by a Russian guy, her passing out, bringing her back to their dorms, for some reason by this point she was naked I think (I can't quite remember the exact details) then her waking up and going to the bathroom, only to experience liver failure (or was it kidney failure), and evacuate about three days worth of bowel movements all along the corridor to the bathroom and for some reason the sink as well I think, and then them realizing this, seeing her passed-out naked and covered in shit in the bathroom, and then the dorm supervisor teacher thing waking up, and... well, what must he have thought, eh?