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will anyone here own up to the most soap-operary of crimes?
smashed a baseball bat into a girls forehead whilst playing year 8 rounders.
Though if one ever attacks me I will be more then happily push them... into traffic and into a non-gender specific auto-mobile... then where will society stand with a woman being hit by something without gender... the universe will like explode or something!
when i was like 6.
Other than fighting with my sisters as a little 'un, nope.
my twin sister when we were like 10/11 which i the felt horribly guilty about. she was winding me up and eventually i lashed out at her, to be honest it wasnt that bad but i could definately have dealt with it better though i was about 11 so maybe not at the height of my decision-making/self control powers.
i reckon the opposite sex has more than paid me back over the years though, i've been slapped far too hard on numerous occasions.
Quite fancied her as well as I recall.
At uni, we were throwing an empty coke bottle around (oh the japes) and I threw it to a girl who didn't catch it and it smacked her in the face.
And sisters don't count.
i had to kick a guy in the nuts cos he was getting too fresh with me oince \m/
Other than that, only in playfights.
with a girlfriend at the time, messing around. For some reason just as I was throwing a (very weak) punch she decided to stop blocking and just relaxed. So I clobbered her in the stomach by accident. It was obviously an accident, but I felt pretty bad about it. My girlfriend got me back for it several times over by punching me when I was least expecting it
I tombstoned her once. That was pretty cool.
Other than that, just girlfriends, wives and my mum. The usual.
I've hit Bamos' mum too.
You and your black-eyed harem.
I genuinely did once slam accidental Ann off of this site's head into a pub table. It was an accident. Honest.
(in your face)
assuming your brother is, by definition, a boy!
it doesnt matter
She slapped me for no rhyme or reason, so I decided in all logic, to defuse the situation by going "How dare you!" in a camp voice and giving her a jokey slap back. I mean we're talking more of a caress here. Anyway she went mental and stormed off, which was my desired outcome anyway, so win/win
It was meant as a bit of fun, but the girls were taking it dead serious, making threats on campus and playing the big feminist, "Treat us as equals" card. So they got treated as equals. At the kick off, we looped up a big hanging ball, which one of them caught, oblivious to the fact that our 1st team 7, who also played for Wasps' academy, was honing in like a missle. He absolutely creamed her. She didn't get up for about 10 minutes. We decided to call it that afterwards.
Seriously, I wish it was on YouTube.
a bare cheeked fart on my ex girlfriends face.
she was highly un-amused.
Really fucking lame thing to do.
then I think it's justfied.
Not in a beat-them-to-within-an-inch-of-their-lives way, just a swift crack allowing you to either restrain them or get away, depening on the situation.
Also just a really lame thing to do.
I was fast asleep though and have no recollection of it at all. I've always been prone to sleep walking, but this was a new one on me. Allegedly, I was on her side of the bed so she started kicking me over to the otherside, I then jumped up grabbed her by the throat and told her I would kill her before laying back down again.
In the morning she was gone and I had the bed to myself.
And no, you can't have the story again.
been hit by them though, but just stoicly taken it.
If I got attacked by a chav girl gang with knives then I would not hesitate in popping one on the chin, that would be different.
Some proper fisticuffs, what. Give her a bunch of fives!
my infamously frugal mother went through a stage of trying to shave her son's heads in order to save £9 on a haircut. She came at me with the shaver thing, and I was forced to grapple her into submission. I was like ten though, and I had nice hair. She got what she deserved.
That one's my favourite.
playing some dodgeball type game in a swimming pool in France with my siblings.
My brother thought he'd spotted my other brother, and threw the ball as hard as he could at him. That's when the middle aged French woman turned round.
On many occassions, no black eyes yet but afew bruises. All because of my clumsiness I may add.
like a detective in the 30s