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How shall I destroy their innocence?
Give all female characters deep East German voices.
was not a satisfactory answer to that question. Not when it comes to destroying innocence, anyway.
You don't think introducing the concept of radical hormone treatment into a child's cognitive lexicon counts? You have no imagination!!
When you do my voice, make sure it's deep. And monotonic.
take a shit in a brown paper bag, and read them some Bukowski.
1) Put one of those fake blood capsules in your mouth
2) Open a nice Roald Dahl book to read to them
3) Start coughing and spasming before spitting a load of blood everywhere, while screaming and making growling noises
Result: amusement for you, a lifelong fear of blood and reading for the kids.
Revolting Rhymes is a book I would recommend to be read to all children. It taught me many things. For one - that beautiful mysterious woman are mostly armed.
Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
which is basically all about where babies come from and features a full page picture of 'mummy and daddy making a baby'
that would probably do it if you could find an English translation (not likely)
I feel crappy; snotty nose, cough, coldsore. It's raining and I've got to go to Chester this afternoon for work. Apart from that all is good.
the day the giant spider comes alive and terrorises Liverpool.
It's been really nice watching the site come to life this morning. I woke up at 6am and not been able to get back to sleep and these boards coming alive are like when a city comes to life. It's a bit like the scene in Open All Hours when they bring the milk in and the twilight slowly becomes daylight.
There were only 13 users online when I flicked my macbook open. Now it's upto 70 and rising fast as people get into work.
Is it wrong to feel all warm and fuzzy like this on a friday morning?
Mayyyybe I iz still drunk.
I need to book that time off work. I got some new glasses so that I would appear to be a better editor.
I will just come dressed up as J Jonah Jamison, comission several pieces on why Spiderman is ruining music, grumble about my peptic ulcer, and take a shit in a brown paper bag.
last time for a while I have to get up at 6am for work. Hurrah for that.
I am hurrahing for only one thing today.
i get to eat pizza tonight and maybe have some sex! WIN!
will you hit on me?
Look who's sharp this morning.
The Railway Children?
And what a spectacularly dismal day we have today.