'Ello. I want to let it be known that it's only pre-holiday boredom that's made me take up this hallowed mantle and from next week it's someone else's.
Well then. Just as bookmakers suspend all books on the first Premier League manager to be sacked, Alan Curbishley goes and sneaks out while Keegan and Ashley are still thrashing out whatever the hell they're thrashing out amid talk of player revolts and Dennis Wise-related "if he doesn't go I will" (do you get the feeling they're doing this to spite the whole media?) Curbishley says decisions were made "without involving me". Kia Joorabchian blames Curbishley's own transfer policy, presumably by not buying enough of his players. Slaven Bilic is favourite to take over, but with World Cup qualifiers about to get under way this sounds like a delicate time to me. Roberto Mancini and, inevitably, Paolo Di Canio have also been mentioned. Go on, contact Paul Ince.
Like an anti-credit crunch, Bill Kenwright says he will be angling for an international billionaire to take the club over so that it can remain competitive (fifth last year, remember). Meanwhile City's assistant manager Mark Bowen, alongside the usual "we'll be among the biggest clubs in Europe we will" willy waving, says the club will be bringing through fewer of its own products to accomodate all the new megasignings. Always nice to give the local kids something to aim for. Stockport, in this case.