Apparently Gus asked Dimitr to look after his cat over the summer whilst he sunned him himself in a tequila fuelled drunken holiday in Mexico.
Upon his return he found Dimi dressing his cat in eskimo clothing and posting videos of the cat and him in "comprimising" positons on YouTube.
Gus demanded an apology but Dimi refused, threw the cat at the cactus plant [cat was unharmed] and said he was like a mini-china with all his rules!! Gus then whipped out his member and tried to whip Dimi into submission with his renound helicopter attack, but Dimi was quicker than expected and scarpered through a gap in the fence into a field of poppies all the way to his motherland, Bulgaria.
Darren Bent was recording all this on his N95 whilst hiding behind the sofa where he had been wanking to Berbatov and the Cat. He threatened to leak all to the press unless Ramos played him.
Hence Bent is 1st choice striker, Dimi won't play until Gus allows cat loving at white hart lane and Ramos has been put over a barrel by an incriminating video of his star striker and his assitant.