...or just make you feel disgruntled enough to splurge off on an internet forum
in this order and all in one breath snatching hit it was
1) DFS. the rock star schtick one. now, this is obviously bad, obviously would make anyone gawp at the screen unable to look away through sheer disbelief at how tongue bitingly disgusting it all is. but the one that gets me is the curly haired kid, and the thought that everytime his parents see that they beam back in pride at how swell little johnny is on the advert. one for the dinner party..'have you seen johnny yet...etc etc'.
2) halifax. again, obviously bad, so much said already, but i still cant believe that however much halifax might mop the brows of customers and whisper into their ears that the credit crunch wont happen to them because they have got good...i dunno..bits..ideas..schemes..percentages whatever banks have or do....i cant believe that they might be the best bank in the world and people would still trust them with their money. lunacy.
3) the new coke one with the fancy bottles. i recognise that voice..who do those whiskey soaked meliflous tones belong to...wait...its none other than the wires lester freamond...oh lester. im not gonnna piss and moan and stick my hand up the arse of my bill hicks puppet and gurn on about artistic integrity and selling your soul to the capitalist devil. its just another sobering smack in the face to make me realise that the actors on the wire are unfortuanatly real people...in real life and stuff. just dissapointing.
4) finally its one about immigrants and how people arent allowed to use them for cheap labour. but..why are there hurdles everywhere? its just another advert trading off the olympic games, this one more bizarre than the others with no effort made to connect the two with any sort of crusty metpahor about falling at the first hurdle if you give immigrants a job, etc etc blah blah. its just a device to put the message on the hurdles. why why why? i wish i worked for rustler burgers (in context) so then i could point out the cynical attempts by fucking everyone to trade on the olympic ethos by satirically making an advert about burgers that says how good the burgers are for you if you are an athlete, eat your rustlers if you want to be ready for 2012.. all being dead funny and tongue in cheek with disclaimers and all that...but all the while pointing the finger the companies that are gleefully taking a ride on seb coes stringy ego.(his ego is like dreadlocks, lots of bits to cling on to)
la la la...what a terrorising five minutes that was. and not to mention the adverts.
(haha. you see, what i was doing there, was playing..for comic purposes..on the fact that i have just babbled away, still tipsy from last night, aimlessly for quite a bit, and some poor saps may have actualy read it all. and its 10.17 on a saturday morning. go back to bed and forget all about this unpleasentness)