Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
and post it here.
A serious one.
There was this guy called Tristan,
I assumed he'd be vegan
Because he makes shit music
And very often cries.
So when he started a thread
Saying animals which are dead
He no longer wants to eat,
I really wasn't surprised.
Inevitablity is Happiness
i found my dear tristan
stuck inside a cistern
it worried me so
but alas i had to go
so i shouted to my friend mart
who is of eager heart
"go forth, my friend, and rescue my one love!"
but he was busy with his essex friend dove_from_above.
and so my dear tristan,
still stuck inside that cistern
will you ever be free?
or will you always be
in the cistern. for eternity.
NOW THE BISHOP WAS NOBODY'S FOOL,
HE'D BEEN TO A FINE PUBLIC SCHOOL
HE LOWERED HIS BRITCHES
AND SCREWED BOTH THOSE BITCHES
WITH HIS TWELVE-INCH EPISCOPAL TOOL
"Apparently three in ten South African women carry the HIV virus.
This aroused my gambling addiction and I really couldn't help myself, so I raped seven South African women.
Now I sit and wait..."
It would have been funnier without the raping part
I BUST A FUCKIN NUT INSIDE HIS ASS CHEEK
WITH NO RUBBER I BE BUBBIN ON HIS GLUBBIN
I BE RUBBIN ON HIS NUBBIN WITH MY HUB END
HE BE VEXIN, I SCREAM "MUTHAFUCK YOU BITCH I'M DOIN SEXIN"
HE KEEP FLEXIN
I KEEP POURING OLIVE OIL UPON HIS PECS N
BREAKIN BALLS AN PUSH HIS MUTHAFUCKIN HEAD INTO THE SOIL
GLOCKY RECOIL, I BRING IT TO THA MUTHAFUCKIN BOIL
HE LAY DEAD, AND AS HIS FACE LIES IN PLACE ON THE GROUND WHERE HE BLED I SAY "PEACE"
Yeah i quite like it grimey
The lights in my sweet darling's head blew out,
Their fuse had gone,
Our collective lightbulb crackles,
But she is no lamp that I can fit in anymore,
The little end bit at the end of my bulb,
Has one of them horizontal metal bits,
And she is only screw-in now,
Alas my dear,
Together we have grown apart.
"Did he say the middle column would get wider dear?"
"Yes, W I D E R dear."
"Was that really made clear? Or are you sure you didn't hear
Some scurrilous rumour like that puma with the tumour who was so devoid of humour he became a Brigadeer?"
"You know, - Jewish New Year"
"Ah yes, now I remember
Come September your big member will be circumspect of genuflecting red equine distemper "
"No, you're thinking of the cat"
"The cat? Oh yes the cat.
We're going to have him stuffed and boiled and rolled out as the welcome mat."
"Well we were but didn't you say Dorothy can't get the time off work?
And Jenny popped her clogs when she found Adam with that smirking Turk
And Roland wont touch pork loins since his snatch lost all its clean and jerk
And anyway, the parrot and his cape got caught in tape when he was trying to escape that twisting fisting grapeape rape..."
"Whatever are you on about?"
Y'know, I've clean forgotten."
"Well that's rotten 'cos I'm sure he said the column would get wider I just can't remember when but then you simply can't trust men..."
"Indeed dear.... six inches or ten?"
Abu Dhabi steps in front,
Leading in the solar hunt,
Sunlight sources we should find,
Now the season, now the time,
Giant solar project grow,
Megawatts will rise and flow,
Masdar Institute will be,
Leaders in technology,
Serving all the Arab lands,
Bringing hope accross the sands,
Looking to the future years,
Harvest pearls it now appears,
From the sun, the source to hold,
Let the flower bud unflold,
Light and heat to concentrate,
Gather in to use and take,
Given from the Hand of One,
Kindly granted, freely done,
Pearls we find to keep and treasure,
Tears of sunlight without measure.
copied from http://tinyurl.com/6cr8zv