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He told me to fuck off.
* (not so) True story
My mate Zac was like let's say hello to him.
So we said hello and he went "What?"
And Zac said "Just wanted to introduce you to the Enghlish boys so they know what a Grand Slam winner looks like"
And then our Gav said "Well you're not birds so I can't pull you so why don't you fuck off?"
And I said "That's a bit rude"
And he said "Fuck off is it!"
He's fucking tiny too.
Does this mean he's split up with Charlotte?
Does this mean she's free and single?
I'm going to make my move.
Is she pregnant? I have no idea. It's good though, she already has kids and I can swoop in and be all super-Dad without having to do any hard work.
I met one of my friends mates on Saturday for the first time
At one point in the evening he spotted a woman who was clearly about 8 months along, and uttered the immortal line 'Urgh...I'm getting 'the rage'! Look at that preggers chick!'. I thought he was joking, but it was later confirmed that he does indeed have a well known pregnant fetish that he doesn't mind sharing with anyone.
It just felt wrong on every level - surely it's from the same genus of fetishes as paedophilia?
That episode of Coupling ranks up there with the best ever.
He hadn't even been out at a club, he was walking around in his Ospreys shirt as if he had just come from training
"birds to pull"
Probably just to get rid of us.
Apparently his favourite pasttime is hanging around in swansea being miserable
to get away from the screaming baby at home . . . . . and his kid.
when you hang around in swansea at 3 in tht morning..
He was lovely. I said hello and waved and he gave me a thumbs up and went "Alright pal?".
But as the cab pulled off when we got in, Tim my Aussie mate opened his door and shouted "Stephen Larkham shits all over you!"
what posessed you to be out on Kingsway in Swansea on a Saturday night? It's horrid on Saturdays; full of screeching valley girls who you wouldn't go near on a saturday night, 'roider guys and just general twats looking for a fight.
As for Gavin Henson, I always thought he seemed like a bit of a twat, now that's just confirmed it.
Every year we have a barbecue at his overlooking the Grwnswlt valley then a bus into Swansea and go out to hilariously rubbish clubs.
We went to Oceana. It was fun. I raved in the I-I-I-Icehouse all night.
almost as bad as the Jumpin' Jaks next door to it. You didn't end up with some desperately ugly orange slapper trying to come onto you...usually happens at Oceana. Should have been in the Disco room with the massive flashing dancefloor, it's the one redeeming feature about the place.
I mean they played the Yogi Bear song when I went in there.
I was quite impressed actually, all the girls seemed remarkably stylish and a fake ten ratio of about one in ten.
However girls in Swansea appear to have never met anyone with a beard before so I was mostly avoided all night
all the orange people are probably down Wind Street or in Escape or Crowbar.
one has just opened in Southampton (again, next door to a Jumpin Jaks) and it looks like my worst nightmare - all shiny and full of orange people.
And I've heard tales of a vodka n coke costing £8! Why would anyone pay that?
drinks are overpriced by Swansea standards, but I've no idea if that's just because Swansea is so cheap and Oceana might charge the same for drinks wherever or what. Music is commercial dance, hip hop, R&B, pop and cheese. Having said that the one in Swansea has an ok "Urban Night" where one of the rooms plays a bit of UK garage! It's the kind of place that's fun if you're already pretty drunk by the time you get in and are with a group of decent people, otherwise you tend to have a shitty time.
On Saturday in Oceana a smirnoff ice was £3.00.
The night before in Play (I didn't attend) a Smirnoff Ice was 75p
do a gig at Jumpin' Jaks in Soton.
You probably should have kerb-stomped him. That really is some world-class wankerism.
Cos I'm slowly striding towards your house to chainsaw bayonet YOUR FACE
you know the one
1. Gavin Henson
2. Cab drivers
3. People who don't like '300'
My mate Liam's mate Peter is a proper roider. He's absolutely massive; we're talking Arnie in Terminator and that is no exadgeration.
So standing around outside afterwards, some guy bumps into me and my mate Rich, and starts mouthing off. Peter spots this and comes over "Oh Butt, you lay off my friends or I will fucking smash you"
Guy: Whatever, I'll come back with all my mates
Peter rips his t shirt off and stands there flexing his muscles
I strangely miss being in Swansea, even the nights out.
So it has novelty value
Me and Rich stood there in absolute awe
...spend a night in Port Talbot, then feel grateful.
it's a jungle
Yeah, its pretty grim there
Worse place in the world though? Not likely
Seriously, if you "like" a night out in Swansea, you should try St.Marys Street in Cardiff on a Saturday night, It is like walking into a real version of the playboy models screen from Apocalypse Now, complete with Triage centres and helicopters (not really helicopters)
Gavin Henson is known to be a total bellend, great player though, but not really an excuse for being a cock
Larkham better than hook? Maybe 10 years ago when Hook was 11, certainly not now
I mean in the context of now - as in the players they are now. Direct comparison. Obviously in his prime Larkham was a better player, but he did play in the best team is the world, so it does make him look better.
I always thought Larkham was not as good as everyone said he was, although he himself was always pretty humble (as most Aussies are) and never believed his hype
Wales win the world cup? Not even the most biased Welshman would think that likely. (I am Welsh)
There was a masisve billboard outside Cardiff Station that said "Brains - Proud Sponsors of the 2007 World Champions"
A direct comparison now will always be redundant - Hook is still breaking into the Welsh team and Larkham is an old man who can't see
Alot of Welsh people (and Journalists - see Western Mail/Wales on Sunday) seem to think Wales will one day regain their mantle as the worlds best. They weren't even the best in the 70's
Western Mail once gave the best player rating ever, it's a shame I can't remember who is was, other than it was a prop who came on 5 minutes from the end.
1/10 - Disgrace. Drop.
In the last world cup were also brilliant
EXCEPT Gar Thomas, who got 10/10, because it was his 100th cap
Though less famous, another friend approached Nicky Walekr, Scotland and Ospreys winger and said "You're a massive inspiration to me, look I can run really fast" and then pegged it off whilst stood there looking immensely confused
"Weren't you on the Bill?"
His missus was stunning
Who is actually crazy for the ledger, sadly didn't grace us with his presence as he's moved to Dubai to quote "Show them crazy"
he'll fit right in