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buy a zoo, tame a lion.
break into zoo, steal lion, tame lion.
no taming it while youre there.
any girl can tame a lion IN a zoo.
also, i came across this- a possible way of stealing a lion?
that's just asking for a caption.
i don't have a caption. That's too brilliant for words.
i hate pirates. Fucking bastards. Every time a four year old goes to a party dressed as one a bit of me dies.
with an angry pirate.
It would be extremely criminal.
i obviously don't spend enough time on 'Urb Dic'.
we can't all be twee and sweet and cute like you and get away with it. Stop making it look easy.
and get the initiation by whatever painful means. I'm not joking when I say we should have stuff like that over here. Like when you hit 18 you get you get thrown into a flithy dangerous pit for days and can only come out if you agree to get you ribs smashed in a bit with a hammer. Things would be different
better - no
and not against kicking me in the goolies.
he scares me
But be gentle.
and i drink loads of soya milk
so they're pretty ineffective
but i do like to play jumprope with them.
You're my hero.
i think i understand this. fuck the manning up?
i manned up
Innies or outies
End of lesson
or bear grylls
ray mears spends the night in hotels. i was like 'no wai!' but then ray appeared on the screen with a nicely shaven face.
or a self-hewn flint and then skins an animal with it after for breakfast.
Listen to nothing but Mastadon
Eat nothing but MEAT
CAPS LOCK FURY also helps
i don't want to look like Alan McGee.
with a needle and thread.
Stalk a girl and sew her hair ribbon to your nipple.
surely that makes me more like this:
although i wouldn't mind looking like this:
that might be a bad idea though
CAPS LOCK FURY I think should do the trick.
Oh Jabe :''')
that you can't spell metal without meat. Metal = mtfu paydirt.
Up there with jozz and indee
(that could be two, ain't I clever?)
i need masculinity advice. Of a day-to-day basis.
it doesn't matter why, i'd just like some please.
that was my attempt at being terse.
don't talk a lot.
when you do talk, speak only of opponents slain and women bedded.
drink real ale. learn how to fix cars. appear not to care about anything. grow a beard.
in short, be more like me.
i think i have at least two of those covered.
I add to that
learn to weld
be casual in the face of danger
kill a rival
wear a boliersuit to all occasions and events, half tied at the waist for warm days
more slain than slayer though
Death and bolier suits = top o' the man class.
Take lots of roids.
Fight in the street.
Shave your head.
Drink 15 pints before needing the toilet.
Complete 3 of these and you're fully manned up.
Try and do DIY
Grunt a bit
as this is essentially my life
if you answer yes to the previous question you fail to be recognised as a 'real' man
ITV2; watch Die Hard. Insta-man in a can.
they're not showing Total Recall?!
but they are a limited organisation.
inform everyone just how much BEER you drink with your MATES at every opportunity
re-enact scenes from WKD adverts
watch Sky Sports News and Nuts TV
these are all things I enjoy doing and to be quite honest I'm pretty manly, in my own reticent way.