Unexplained fears arrive without warning at least once a day, passing through my mind with an intense destructive quality whilst also producing a physical reaction; pouring forth embarrassing moments and apprehension for upcoming events. These fears are most cruel during a period of hangover, the indiscretions of the night before drag themselves into my consciousness, luridly staring at myself like a car crash, tangled metal wrapped around a tree. Perversions and decisions deemed too complicated to consider roll through me, tearing at my spinal cord, making me spasm, cringe or blush. These thoughts tear at me causing panic for a moment before receding back to the dark recesses of my mind, silently pressing my body to the limit, raising my heart rate and causing sickness. Their appearance is always fleeting and the effects are quickly brushed off though my inability to prepare for them causes the greatest paranoia. I wish I could disappear completely or find a great barrier to erect to stop them invading my brain. My cowardice in confronting theses thoughts at any point allows them to return, slashing away at the floating, useless, idol cells which occupy my self confidence.
Does everyone get this?