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any ideas on how I can 'spice it up'?
Threaten to sue everyone.
ps: Thanks for the Blitzen Trapper album, I really like it! If you PM me your address, I'll get that dEUS CD posted to you.
are you sure those things exist? the way you're treating this board it seems you can only talk in the public domain!!!!!!
Why didn't she mention it?!
Ahhh this makes me smile so much
i heard on the grapevine Klaire has been ill (of course there are no posts or threads to prove it) so no nastiness please.
That was gunty's profile.
you know i had meningitis right? and you know who my brother is right? and you know which company i used to work for and what band they managed right? and you know what pets i have right? right?
to steal a full copy of Photoshop, including the manual.
Totally sweet. WORD.
but I'll have a look.
The only reason I'm getting Photoshop is that I found a copy in the drawer of my desk...
if they say no get REALLY ANNOYED and start to cry. they will HAVE to keep you on now.
"Keep me on or touch my wang!" over and over until I get one or the other?
It's a long way to Tipperary, yes.
that both sucks and blows.
Just wink and pout at the manager. either that or draw a dragon on your penis then flop it out and shake it around mid meeting.
seems to be a penis shaped theme here. General consensus - whip it out
well its not gunna su...
Start the meeting by demanding more money.
If they make you redundant, ask for some time off to consider it
Post the number on here.
Failing that, nothing spices up a meeting like a violent outburst against an inanimate object.
Pick an object in the room, flip charts are always good. Start by giving it evils and build up to a "Seriously, what the fuck are you looking at?" before launching yourself across the room and beating the shit out of it.
I'd say I have about a 5% chance of staying (they've already shown me the system they're using to calculate who stays and who goes).
turn to your manager and say "I'm sorry, but we are going to have to left you go" and get all worked up when you claim he is going to be made redundant and not you.
are you lefting me go?
*puts duct tape over his lips*
and a vowel please, Carol
"Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous. And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you."
Then, at the end, shout BRING! na dpick up an imaginary phone. "Compliance and Liability" And shout in a loud womans voice "MY TITS GONNA ROT OFF" and run out the room.
just as my boss walked in. I'm definitely going now :D
But I had fun, so it all works out.
And say "What's happening bitches?", then start wanking and as you jizz all over your chest sigh "Ahhhh, there's the sugar"
And whenever anyone speaks shout "SILENCE! I WILL KILL YOU!"
hold onto the desk and go 'LALALALAL' when ever they mention the word.
pretend you are in the house of commonc, flap your papers and shout yeaaah, stand up at very pertinent points
dooooo the locommonction with me!
oooh jump back!
if you don't go, they can't fire you!
Or keep setting off the fire alarm whenever they try and talk to you.
they might recognise it from the film and laugh it off or something. i don't think i would if anyone actually did that in real life though.
as they're "overrunning" in the meeting room.
I actually want to leave now.....
Hope it works out for the best.
and the person in before beats the shit out of them.
dont make it easy on them ....act devestated....like someone said, cry, if you can.....or act like you cant speak....dont say anything just look struck dumb....say absolutely nothing...if necessary open yopur mouth as if to spoeak but you cant form the words
walk out of there with your dignity in tact!
so they feel thats ok then?
I say make em suffer
finishing with "SHOW ME THE MONEY" except you scream it in your boss' face in complete rage with your hands down your trousers and crying a bit
coome here hott stuff!
I'm on tenterhooks
as there are still people in the meeting room.
I'm now getting in a bad mood. I can't work out if this is a good thing or bad thing for when I actually get in there...
sounds like redundancy payment negotiation
could be a good thing - by it the time it gets to you they might not be able to afford to make you redundant !
apart from my notice - I haven't worked here long enough...
that is bad news
then I suggest you refuse to be laid off
perhaps even offer to take a pay cut - don't take no for an answer
in the redundancy payoff pot.
ITS NOW OR NEVER FUCKSHITS! And thow A4 foolscap at them.
the firing squad will be tired.
and not being able to say anything....basically imagine you are Sacha Baron Cohen, and do a performance piece......make em hurt
LAUGH IN THERE FACES.
LIKE ERROL FLYNN.
THEN JUMP ON THE TABLE AND JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW ONTO A HORSE.
If no horse is available just arrange a friend with a good stout back to stand under the correct window.
told where to laugh by DiSer.
you havnt accounted for all the monkeys
and, yes, I'm soon to be unemployed :(
No news of redundancy package yet but that'll be hopefully be waiting for me when I get back from holiday at the start of August.
Anyone want to say something nice?
You'll be fine.
I'm probably not going to get anything but a month's wages (if that).
They said that they'll try to work out some sort of tax-free pay for the final cheque....
I'm thinking of doing some voluntary work for a nature/animal charity until the end of the year, using my savings/JSA to survive for a bit and also applying for relevant jobs.
That way I'll get some experience in a relative field as well as working in the charity sector, which is where I want to work anyway.
and now you can move to edinburgh and be with cat ALL the time.
you'll actually have more money not paying for travel...
did they at least show some remorse.
Good luck with job hunting...it'll be difficult and get more difficult every week.....what are your skilz?
which was a small consolation throughout it all.
She is currently preparing an email with lots of information on where to look for jobs/things to include in applications etc.
I'm a copywriter so basically writing skillz.
Please be kind enough not about the current economic climate and jobs, I'm not really in the mood for it. Thank you:)
searching/applying for new jobs.
Thanks for the advice. I've already started applying for jobs and I have plans for if I can't find anything suitable (see above).
I applied for a job at a recruiting agency and whilst that place was at interview stage, the bloke's helping me find another job and has improved my CV and is trying to get me a job at a place that usually only takes graduates.
So my tip - if you want recruitment agencies to help you, the best way is to apply to work for them.
you are loved
there's a lot of consolation in that
You're right, there is a lot of consolation in that :)
chin up. something bigger and better awaits.
but you will be fine. it sounds like they'll give you a great reference, it doesn't reflect badly on your CV, and i remain confident in your good karma.
Although I typed it rather than said it
that when I rape women I imagine that they have your face.
they resemble a sandwich bag full of offal
Do you mind? I'm trying to pretend to work here, you disgusting hilarious cunt.
Hugs etc xx
when theres some jobs around rather than in 12 months when they'll be none.
It's terrifying me.
u up for the chop too then?
Hope you find something dude. Definitely speak to Cat's parents about the volunteering thing. There's a couple of Field Teacher placements up in Glasgow at the moment. Part time only though.
if a job isn't forthcoming by mid/late August.
I may very well come to you for some advice if that's okay :)
and showing an interest in the place.
Yeah that's fine, no probs. :)
sorry to hear that...but every cloud has a silver lining and all. Thing'll work out just peachy i'm sure
It means that I'll be able to come to Glasgow more often.
You have to come to Edinburgh too sometimes, I know nice places to eat there!
I should make the most of the mega(dodgy)bus deals.
Plus: THE METAL NIGHT!
at the start of September! I'll be at that metal night with CC! :)
Start of September is before my school placements start...count me in.
If i hear Papa Roach, though, i'm going to be tremendously upset
i'm going to get a lazy lob-on.