It's the stag do for one of my best mates from uni this weekend. One of my friends saw fit to book us into the following guest house. I can see this turning into a bewildering cross between Withnail and I and Watchdog.
A selection of reviews:
'The overwhelming smell of cat wee and damp was terrible'
'I would sleep on a bench at the railway station before I'd stay there again'
'one of the stag party woke up to find a toe nail stuck to his cheek'
'Under no circumstances consider eating the breakfast there, it may be your last'
'The atmosphere around the breakfast table was morbid, each couple whispering among themselves about how they could not believe this was acutally happening to them'
'I have had the strangest body itch ever since sleeping there.'
'our cab driver informed us that Nanford house was a notorious drug den that doubled as a house of ill repute'
'we found many MANY human substances'
'On the second evening we were delighted to find a smelly old tramp asleep outside our door,'