Boards
A small conversation about the internet
Names have been changed for security reasons.
Corrugated Ian:
My mate, who is like 20, had his first wank to porn on a computer. I was like fucking hell that makes me feel old I didn’t even have a computer when I started to wank.
Grassy Noel:
That's crazy. Yeah, it was all catalogues and mind-wanks for us,
or a bit of a tasty bird on the telly.
Corrugated Ian:
Yeah like Challenge Anika or such like.
Grassy Noel:
Leslie Ash when she was in men behaving badly in a tight top. She was hot then.
Corrugated Ian:
Of course there was only one telly in the house. So you had to do it slyly in the front room.
Grassy Noel:
Haha, bustin' one out when everyone else has gone to bed.
Corrugated Ian:
Hehe, yeah that’s a classic.
Grassy Noel:
It was a bit unnerving though, if you hear a floorboard creak.
Corrugated Ian:
Oh yeah, that was annoying it did however teach you to be gentle.
Grassy Noel:
Of course.
Corrugated Ian:
People now a day’s rough as fuck. No style or subtlety.
Grassy Noel:
And speedy - how fast can you tuck it back in again and change the channel on the telly. Since they have TV in their rooms and laptops.
Corrugated Ian:
That was a skill u had to get right, the swift put back.
Grassy Noel:
Cock in the right hand, remote in the left - lightning fast.
Corrugated Ian:
Yeah hoping for god that the batteries where working and you didn’t have to do the roll um round thing. Or you would be diving at the telly pants round your ankles.
Grassy Noel:
And that just isn’t a good look.
Corrugated Ian:
Not at all, worse if anything than sitting on the sofa with your nob out.
Grassy Noel:
Defiantly worse. I had a wank once years ago and I shot my load, missed a bit and it landed in my ear - scared the shit out of me.
Corrugated Ian:
That’s a bummer, not in the ear. I hit my own cheek once. So close to my mouth, that was.
Grassy Noel:
Aw no, in the face!
Corrugated Ian:
Now I know how she feels.
Grassy Noel:
The ear was bad though 'cause it went in a bit and I had to swab it out.
Corrugated Ian:
Hahaha, spunk swab.
Grassy Noel:
Yeah, you wouldn't want to chub in your own mouth though.
Corrugated Ian:
Nah man not unless you had a lot of kiwi fruits before. Apparently it sweetens your juice.
Grassy Noel:
Haha; refreshingly zingy.
Corrugated Ian:
Just like a smoothy. Any way it beats a meat shake.