"So when Jay opened the show by miming to OASIS megahit Wonderwall – after playing a tape of NOEL GALLAGHER saying he was wrong for Glasto – I thought we were in for a treat.
It was all downhill after that, though. There was no spine-tingling COLDPLAY Fix You moment. Or 50,000 people singing Don’t Look Back In Anger and pointing at the sky.
There wasn’t anything to rival ARCTIC MONKEYS and KASABIAN, who raised the Pyramid roof last year. And the rumoured cameos that could have saved the show, from CHRIS MARTIN or Jay’s wife BEYONCE KNOWLES who was watching from the wings, never happened."