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I think I'd hate to be called "brave" if I was seriously ill.
They're literally fading before your eyes and they're not holed up somewhere eating sugar puffs and crying in the dark. Which is what i'd do if i was dying.
noone would be saying 'just look at that pitiful cunt sat there obsessed with his impending doom, weeping into a tissue and forcing down sugar puffs as though mana from heaven. what a twat'
what are they expected to do?
Putting other people out and potentially making them risk their lives to rescue you is actually pretty damn selfish and not heroic at all.
an arsehole who happened not to die
I grew up with fairly serious medical problems and got called "brave" and so forth all the time.
It was deeply patronising and people being overly-nice to me due to illnesses actually really, really fucked my head up quite badly to the point where I felt like people were only being nice to me at all due to the medical problems and didn't really like me at all.
Given the choice between being insulted and having the piss taken out of you or having people being patronising and over-sympathetic, the former is actually a far less damaging way to treat people.
but yeah i agree with you, i dont know personally but treating people nicely because theyve got an illness, when you dont actually like them is a bit silly really, just seems to make it worse.
I think that's really great...promise me to keep on keeping on?
i understand your music ever more :P
area man's cowardly battle with cancer"
I think my favourite is
"area toilet totally smells like shit"
There's a headline in one of the books which goes something like "WOMEN: Why Can't They Lose Some More Weight?" Just amazing.
banned because of stupid dead kids"
brave people dont get ill in the first place innit
deal or no deal
it is braver to risk the money the banker offers then to survive cancer
or a "fighter"
like replace 'fighter' with 'amorphous diseased blob' or 'hollowed out animated corpse'
are all completely inappropriate. if someone dies of cancer does that make them less brave or strong?
but the disease beat them.
the whole idea of this is a bit silly though, but if it makes the person who died family feel ant better i woudlnt hold a grudge against them using it.
I'm not sure to what exent though.
if someone's cancer recedes i don't think it's a result of them being a plucky chap
but I can barely remember them now. However, as you say, there are lots of findings in the nursing literature about how psychological styles and that directly impact mortality (the most interesting being spirituality; spiritual people live longer).
BUT if I remember those specific papers correctly, this whole emotional projection thing (calling ill people brave, battling against cancer, etc) may not be a good thing at all: although you're calling such people brave, fighters, etc, they don't feel like that at all. Often ill people are terribly depressed and anxious; so saying this stuff just feels completely incongruent.
BORING POST BORING POST
even if a positive outlook helps you live longer bravery and fighting don't really come into it.
Interesting that spirtual people live longer - you'd think they were the ones who'd be least scared of dying...
I think it links into the whole idea that if you're holding onto the idea of faith, you're less anxious, because you:
a) have something to focus on (like prayer).
b) aren't so scared of death; it's more 'fated,' so to speak.
So it affects your state of mind, with in turn affects your progression.
but if someone is suffering from a very serious illness and still manages to smile sometimes, they're facing the thing most people are scared of most (death) and still battling on - hence being brave. I'd love to be called brave (without the ill stuff to go with it)....
They're just getting on with their lives as best they can.
It's fuck all to do with being brave and simply down to adapting to the circumstances you find yourself in. It's not bravery at all - it's just getting on with your life.
dealing with the hardships youve been given, but doing your best to get on with it?
It's coping but being able to cope has got nothing to do with qualities of bravery or courage. It all ties back to this idea that there's a "weakness" in any kind of mental illness or anxiety - implying people who cope are brave implies people who struggle to come to terms with a life-threatening illness are cowardly. And when you realise that's entirely untrue you realise it by logical extension can't be true that people who do come to terms with it are brave.
im not personally saying people who just give up the will to live are weak people, but surely the definition of brave fits to people who have been dealt a rough hand, but get on with it?
I mean to me someone's only being brave if they're risking somehting and with any kind of serious illness you're not risking anything by dealing with it - you're just getting on with it.
But at the same time I can see how your definition would make sense.
i think typically i would think bravery means, strength, physically and/or mentally, which achieves something, but im not too sure if thats right.
apart from the bit about being diseased. that is unlucky rather than weak
to see who qualifies. whoever can sit through the whole of 'an honest mistake' is a braver man than i