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(this is anecdotal, not riddle-dotal)
you've got your own spectacle on?
Weetabix does look a bit like a messy poo
it couldn't life up the lid of the toilet
But srsly, who would eat on the crapper? Go through the office systematically and judge everyone as to see who looks like a toilet-eater.
filled it with milk, even added some sugar and then left it on the closed toilet lid