There's an interview with Shakin' Stevens in today's Guardian - http://music.guardian.co.uk/festivals/glastonbury2008/story/0,,2286193,00.html - in which comes this exchange:

"Do I call you Shaky or Michael?
Call me Shaky. You couldn't call Cliff Harry could you? You couldn't call Sting Bernard."

No, I thought, you couldn't call Sting Bernard, largely because his real name is Gordon Sumner. Then it struck me that Shaky thinks Sting is really called Bernard Sumner. Then I started having vivid mental images of either Sting fronting New Order - Blue Monday plus lute! - or Barney fronting the Police (you can imagine the air punches throughout Don't Stand So Close To Me, can't you?).

Then I realised people were looking at me.