http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/euro2008/2008/06/quiz_alan_shearer.html

I don't know if anyone else picked up on this, but here's some cracking questions to the BBC's charismatic pundit:

'hi alan..
Do u feel miserable deep inside knowing that kiran richardson has won more titles in his short career than u have which has spanned more than a decade.'

'Alan,

Do you, like the 99.9% of the UK think that Mark Lawrenson is a condisending t!t and makes you cringe and angry that part of your TV licence money goes to this tvvat.

PS Would you not like to drop the nut on Lawro?'

'Dear Big Al

You are very tall....

I touched you once. Do you remember???'

'Alan,

Seeing as Ameobi is almost certain to be replaced with a cheese sandwich (with proper pickle) do you think you yourself, considering the obvious benefits, could equally well be replaced in the BBC punditry line-up by the above mentioned parsnip, fingerprints and all?'

'Alan, you famously celebrated the 1995 title victory by staying at home and creosoting your fence.

Is it true that you've had a bald head since birth, and that noticeable brown patch is in fact Cuprinol Sprayable Fence Treatment?'

:D