Yesterday as I stood in the extremely long line waiting to buy 2 litres of milk, a jar of peanut butter and two cakes of Dove soap, my mind drifted off into that weird tunnel vision thing that happens when you've been standing in a line for more than two minutes, and I started analysing the guy in front of me with a rising distaste - long black hair but balding on top, chatting away in a nasally sort-of American accent about guitars, and standing at no more than 5 foot 5 high and with bad acne. And I thought to myself, can somebody PLEASE tell this guy that I hate him.

Anyway, at that moment he turned to chat again to the guy beside him, and as I stood staring at his profile, all the pieces came together at Homer Simpson-like pace (LISA NEEDS BRACES...DENTAL PLAN...LISA NEEDS BRACES...DENTAL PLAN...) and I had a dawning recognition that I was standing behind a guy I idolized for a two year period when I was a teen. And just how unimpressive he was now. Leaving a trail of blood and marked-down bacon across the country, or in yesterday's case, Shepherds Bush Green....