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today I have shot a heybale with a bow with my shirt off. You?
throw some rubbish out for my mum.
All time: 4 pints of death.
when she wasn't looking.
then smashed her back doors in.
and shot an SA80 rifle.
Oh and I've grown a beard...
it actually causes the penis to shrink, despite the common misconception that it adds inches
That's right, I top the grass, turn the grass, leave to dry and bale the fucker.
and have been known to do so on several occasions.
and most summers i go driving around in a boat and kill loads of fish.
I won. Go me.
was at a party once at a farm, they had a bonfire. Someone chucked a can of deodorant on it, and then hit it with an axe. it exploded into the air and we were all like "WOOOOAHHH DUUDE!!!".
WITH YOUR BARE HANDS
and wounded it.
AND LOADS OF THEM
i cut their bellies open and rip out their tiny little guts. AMAZING SCENES
I took a break from watching the footy to beat my wife and drink some Stella. Urrrghhh.
those commy bastards
revised gender relations in china, then ate a mars bar. With my bare hands!!!
Ever: spat chewed tobacco in my hick wife's nose bled subsequent to my forcefully punching her in the face due to not having my steak prepared rare enough for me. Whilst wearing only a cowboy hat.
Used a sledgehammer to knock down a wall
Thrown someone out of a bar when I worked at said bar
Me and my friend chased off someone attacking a girl
because we were locked out, and there was food in the oven, ready to blow the house up.
Badly, I'll add.
and generally lots of physical work when i was younger
You'll be the first to dismember over the internet.
and boobs too!
used it as a tankard for my home-brewed ale, made from breezeblocks and pure, soul-crushing disappointment.
the ale was to wash down a Boots meal deal sushi box. I hope that hasn't shattered the illusion.
so well done for managing to keep it down
ever: helped build several fences, including the one that surrounds my garden.
a wall in my house.
'Being an amateur lumberjack'
did you work on a farm?
I used to do muckspreading too...thats pretty manly.....except I named my tractor 'Suzie' which kind of spoils it.
you were riding Suzie
bucked around quite a lot.
that's probably why you called her that
its hard to ask a dead person.
cos for some reason he started massaging my gf's shoulders! couldnt believe it!
and subsequently found my missing keys in the ambulance afterwards
and someone punched through the glass to hit you? Like a fire alarm? Or was it an A-team moment, fist to the face you going through the glass?
Someone called Rob's ball, i.e the other game name Rob on the team, and the dumb arse scrum half passed it to me. I was of course standing still and got absolutely munched, the result melee of which left me with the bottome of my ear split, a smashed nose, and someone had stood on a nerve on my left arm meaning I couldn't really move it.
However in the resultant ruck one of our players had broken his nose and we only had one sub. To try and keep 15 players on the field, I played on. It was only 20 minutes in, so I played another 60 minutes of rugby with one arm, with blood everywhere. I wasn't that effective, but boy oh boy did I feel like a big man. Especially when the oppo's captain said afterwards "The boys are in awe of you, we can't believe you did that"
why didn't you pass out?
And my body was teaching me a lesson for the rest of life
kicked several doors in to rescue various people in various states of...distress.
played a gig with a les paul for more than an hour without getting shoulder ache.
talked to a lot of old fat men about real ale.
opened the bonnet of a car.
these are getting much less manly.
pressed wild flowers.
shaved my armpits.
watched friends on purpose
but my points should count more as i am not in fact a man
what questions did you answer yes to? I can't remember what all the questions were actually, something about injuring someone else while dancing and falling asleep while masturbating.
so fuck it, i'm going with what the jabe says.
25kg bags of concrete about a builders yard.
made even worse by the fact I was working from 9pm til 7am. I just felt like I could barely move and I'd inhaled god knows how much concrete dust from trying to put split packs into new bags. Surprisingly though I felt right as rain a few hours after I was done but my god it was horrid and monotonous work.
slept outside in the snow when it was about 20 degrees below zero. i did have a sleeping bag, but man, that was cold.
this is me, honest
is this manly? or stupid?
and i will again; you really are an angry man.
im not at all!
i happen to have weak plaster and my friend had just smashed his old guitar against one wall. so foolishly i put my fist through the other
were you to meet me you would soon decide that i am no man. merely a boy trapped inside a bigger boys body
or felling a tree or something
altho they will have to be taken away, since i dont plan on fixing the wall, were moving out in a week. and we cant let the damage deposit go unsquandered!
i thought you had found a rabbit, and killed it with mixemetosis! not killed an already almost dead one!
thats much more noble!
Grown a beard. Not hug my mum.
maybe in public when i was about 10 and infront of my peers though
gotta show the lady some respect these days
Worked on an Oil rig.
Ran up Ben Nevis.
Chopped down a tree with a felling axe.
Broke into a car.
Killed a pet.
Fucked someones dad for a bet.
I lied twice there.
the type of axe and tree
or kill someone's pet
so I'm going with that and the dad fucking.
I'll let you guess which one I mean. :)
is the manliest muscle of them all
I let a poisonous spider walk on me when I worked on a farm in Australia.
That might just be stupid though.