a) Summer arbitrarily decides to make an appearance, causing student girls in seasonally appropriate, but morally outrageous clothing to walk by my window at a rate of at least 3 a minute.

b) I am eating a toasted sandwich consisting of lettuce, kofte meat and yoghurt sauce.

c) I had serendipitously placed a raucous Russian folk song about drinking next to the theme tune to a Japanese TV show.

d) This deadline, yeah, thought it was gonna kick MY arse. I sent it home in a fucking ambulance this morning.

All reasons why even though I want to stop grinning like a fucking idiot, I cannot.

Let's cure this, what is shit today.