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cursed my plumber's sense of humour.
jokes - go on...
not to know it/ see right through it...
which one says hello first?
None of them 'cause they're all stuck up cunts
which former portuguese footballer has recently questioned the accusations that he has smelly armpits?
(you say B.O.?)
Because it saw the salad cream.
My really straight-laced uncle told it at a massive family gathering, without realising he'd got the punchline wrong.
OH THE LOLS.
peanuts are never bloody complimentary these days though :(
all the jokes i know are anti semitic. and possibly racist. i know one that combines the two.
that kind of thing?
am i on the right lines?
is allowed. surely?
and 60's black oppression.
im a racist. and a jewist. im a racist person who hates the jews.
Partly Sunni, mainly Shiite.
cos the JUNGLE IS MASSIVE
There was this guy who always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson motorbike, but never had the money to do so.
One day however whilst casually browsing through The Loot, he saw a second hand Harley on sale for really cheap! So he phoned up the guy who owned it and arranged to go have a look at it later that day.
He gets there and checks it out. It looks brand new despite it being about 20 years old.
"How do you keep it in such good condition?" asks the guy
"Well, my secret is when it rains i rub vaseline all over the bike, which polishes it and keeps it looking so clean"
The guy agrees to pay the money and the seller throws in a tub of vaseline for free. Just as he's about to ride home with it he gets a call from his girlfriend;
"I hope you haven't forgoten you're meeting my parents tonight!"
"Ah fuck yeah, don't worry i'll be right over to pick you up on my new Harley!"
"You got a Harley?"
"Yeah yeah, well cheap, blah blah..."
Anyway he picks her up and they drive over to her parents. Just before they knock at the door she turns to him and says "right this might be a bit strange, but we have a rule in our house, the first person to speak has to do the washing up"
"Okay whatever" thought the guy
Then they walk in.
dirty plates are everywhere, in the hall, on the stairs, on shelves, on the sofa, fucking everywhere! They walk into the kitchen to see the mother, father sitting at the dining table in front of plates of food in total silence.
The guy is completely freaked out by all this as they sit and eat in total silence, but then his mind begins to wander...he starts touching up his girlfriend in front of the parents. The mother cannot bare to look and the father is going red, but still nothing is said. The guy takes it even further by bending her over the table and having sex with her right there!
Still nothing is said.
After, he looks at the mother and thinks "ooh she isn't too bad either" and then proceeds to have sex with her, and still nothing is said, despite the father looking like he is about to explode!
Just then, a thunderclap is heard.
"Oh shit, my bike" the guy thinks, and pulls out his tub of vaseline
"Right, i'll do the washing up" says the father.