I was an absolute disgrace. Started working there when I was 16 and I lasted 2 years working on fresh food - department of milk, eggs, sausage and chicken amongst others.
so we used to go into the downstairs toilet and eat stuff, read magazines, and generally slack off and steal stuff. Eventually they locked these toilets and I was forced to smash the door in with a milk tetra and use the room covertly.
After months of menial vandalism: throwing whole watermelons down coridoors, whipping 1 litre concoctions of flour and milk across the store, eating mouthfuls of birthday cake then re-sealing the pack, pourinf gallons of milk into the lift shaft, writing swearwords in butter around the store, anonymously calling the manager from instore phones and calling him a cunt etc.
Eventually I hatched a plan involving the newly liberated room to cause maximum disruption:
I removed the ceiling tiles in the toilet and filled the space with as much meat as i could lay my hands on in the 5hour shift i had. What i remember putting there included (but was not limited to) 2 large chickens, 3 packs of bacon, a gammon steak, 3 large fillet steaks, and some braising steak)
sadly i neglected to leave any fish, but it turned out ok.
having left the meat there i went sytraight to the manager and reported that it appeared some thug had kicked the door in. It was immediately locked, selaing the meat inside!
for the next few weeks the smell in the surrounding corridor got worse and worse, to the extent that it was no longer feasible to go within 20/30 feet of the toilet door. By this time i had told everyone what was going on, and everyone bar the manager knew it was me.
anyway, one fateful sunday afternoon they decided it was worth checking the toilet for the source of the unholy stench that was plaguing customers and causing staff to retch.
On opening the toilet door, my manager was treated to a wall of flies and a smell so disgusting that masks had to be worn!!
when they found the meat the chickens were no longer chickens, they were now merely balls of maggots, and when they hit the floor they exploded like a flesh grenade (horrid). the steak was knocked against the wall and stained it purple as it slid down before resting in a fetid heap on the floor.
The room was locked up, but i was never even suspected of it by the managers, despite having legendary status among the staff!
that was probably the best thing i ever did there. but i def came close to it on other occasions.
whats the best revenge you have taken against some cunt/your employer?