It was always notasgoodastheBeano, but I managed to get hold of the most recent copy tonight. HORRIFIC. Desperate Dan has gone all pointy, like the Olympics logo. The front cover's emblazoned with stuff like 'ADEBAYOR VS RONALDO', 'WWF XTREME' and 'TOTALLY - CAN YOU HANDLE IT - GROSS!'...

It stinks of middle-aged men who've sat round a table going 'YAZOO! HOW can we increase sales and engage TODAY'S YOUTH with their GNAT-LIKE ATTENTION SPAN. I know! Camp, muscly men! Screamy fonts! Relentlessly pointy cartoons! STREETWISE!'

Fuck off. I want Korky the Kat back.