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...what the fuck? I'm traumatized.
they wanted you.
when you stop at traffic lights.
I was on the bus from Cardiff to London. I was half asleep, headphones on, bag on the seat next to me in the hope that no one would disturb me.
Only got to Newport before some 40 year old man with a fake tan, bleached hair and ear ring and all insisted on sitting down next to me, completely ingored the fact i was asleep and couldn't hear him through the music so i had to remove the headphones. he introduced himself and proceeded to ask me "Do you go all the way?" I secretly wanted to kill him, but just said "erm, I am going all the way to London yes?" "THAT'S MY KIND OF GIRL HAHAHAHAHAHAH"
if thats the way someone talks to the opposite sex it just forms a downward spiral. Anyone who is impressed enough by it to give them a go in a relationship probably isn't the most amazing example of their gender and so it just fuels the original theory until you turn into that burke.
Have you ever flooded a house because you left the bath running and were too scared to leave the room due to a moth in the corridor?
Have you ever frozen bread?
with freezing bread?
not wieners, BREAD.
I disagree wholeheartedly.
No and no. Nor would I ever.
someone flooded the upper floor of a house. Unfortunately I thought it was raining.... indoors. Bad times.
and fell unconscious in the shower after turning it on and stepping inside to sober it up. His body blocked the plughole and managed to flood his accomodation so much that the floor collapsed and fell on top of another unwitting fresher's bed.
This was 4 days after arriving at university. There's pictures and everything.
third issue, page three.
I wrote the fucking article.
FRESHERS’ WEEK took its toll on
Solsbury Court when part of a ceiling
fell through to the next level as a result
of a resident’s actions.
Sources say that the first year student
had returned home from the Smurf
Night at around 5am, drunk, and started
to have a shower before passing out.
Unfortunately, his body covered the
drain, flooding his room as well as the
two adjacent ones.
The student failed to register what had
happened until a resident from the floor
below came up to complain that part
of the ceiling had collapsed due to the
weight of the water. A witness said that
the student responsible “just laughed and
seemed really proud.”
As an end to the whole debacle, the
student went downstairs to sort out the
problem, only to lock himself out of his
own flat. Wardens had to be called to
open the door for him. It has also been
reported that there is still a terrible smell
in the waterlogged flats.
I wrote it in a hurry around 2am the night before printing.
i wasn't criticizing the work, i was commenting on the content
I really am very insecure.
and the picture doesn't represent the true damage done, there was plasterboard all over one of the rooms and water absolutely fucking everywhere. But if we'd made it dramatic all the freshers would have got scared and their mummies would have queried the uni accomodation.
it should be called BATH TIME(S) or something.
named the paper in pre-emptive hope that this very incident might one day occur.
a japanese student came running into a room covered in white powder
"no no flour, flour"
drags the other student into his room to find a bath had fallen through the ceiling. Sadly it was declared a H&S risk. Damn nanny state.
and i wasn't *actually* traumatized, if you thought i meant that quite seriously. i'm just sort of jokingly exagerrating. IT'S THE CITY!
I was being sarcastic.
YOU THINK I'M NOT CALM?
I'M NOT SURE
WHY ARE WE CAPS LOCKING?
he looks like a less weatherbeaten Sean Penn.
besides, you look like a less strapping Daniel Radcliffe.
he was in no way strapping.
Interestingly though you can see my old school in the background of lemonbrickcombo's profile pic...weird.
that's what's saddest of all
I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HIM
you really do in that other photo though
well done on keeping with the theme.
I have brown hair, I don't wear glasses, and I don't look like a fresh faced dweeb.
The piss taking was remorseless.