I hate myself and I want to die loads.

1. I went for a job interview yesterday in my firm's Manchester office only to be told that there may not be a job after all.

2. I had £3 in the bank when I went yesterday so failed to eat dinner last night, the 'cups of tea diet' may work for models but only served to torture my gut.

3. I slept in this morning, waking up in just about enough time to catch a bus to get in on time.

4. I went to the cash machine to get money for the bus (pay day- hoorah!) and it had no money in it, facilitating me having to go home and scratch around in a jar for £1.50.

5. Having done so I missed the bus and had to resign myself to being late.

6. The cute sixth form girl who gets on the bus was there. She opened her mouth and an appalingly gutteral Leeds accent fell out shattering all illusions of her beauty and causing the milky tea still poulating my innards to curdle a little more.

7. I arrive at work having got money from the fourth cash machine I tried in Leeds station and they'd closed the canteen for breakfast.

8. I am going home for the weekend which facilitates a 3 and a half hour train journey this evening which arrives in, of all places, Carlisle.

9. The pants I washed last night to pack this morning were not dry, they are now festering in my bag, most likely making everything smell fusty.

10. My old department who I hate keep giving me sodding work on things I did while I was with them as I 'know the file'. Thought I'd seen the last of that shower of abrupt arseholes.

Why do you hate today?

PS - I don't really, its just, as Lemony Snicket would have it, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. I remain happy go lucky. But am grimacing.