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Humourous, thoughtful, philosophical...
What are yours? And if you feel like elaborating, why?
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."
Is a favourite of mine by Groucho Marx.
are you going to elaborate on your 'liking same sex people' thread or not??
"advertising is like the rattling of a swill bucket"
the sun has got his hat on... hip hip hip hooray the sun has got his hat on and he's coming out to play.
"There has to be an irony in the design & the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything too seriously. One of my secrets is to joke all the time."- Achille Castiglioni.
Dear little Swallow," said the Prince, "you tell me of marvellous things, but more marvellous than anything is the suffering of men and of women. There is no Mystery so great as Misery. Fly over my city, little Swallow, and tell me what you see there."
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein.
"I tried to make my password 'penis' but it said it was too short..." - My friend.
"Once The Idiots were just the fools, gawping in through the windows. Now they've entered the building. You can hear them everywhere. They use the word cool. It is their favourite word. The Idiot does not think about what it is saying. Thinking is rubbish, and rubbish isn't cool. Stuff n Shit is cool. The Idiots are self-regarding consumer slaves. Oblivious to the paradox of their uniform individuality, they sculpt their hair to casual perfection. They wear their waist-bands below their balls. They babble into hand-held Twit Machines about that cool email of the woman being bummed by a Wolf. Their cool friend made it. He's an Idiot too. Welcome to the age of stupidity. Hail the Rise of The Idiots." - Dan Ashcroft
"Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable." - Voltaire
“Sell a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man how to fish, you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.” - Karl Marx
"It is not enough for journalists to see themselves as mere messengers without understanding the hidden agendas of the message and myths that surround it" - John Pilger
“If I were a teacher, I would recommend that all my students very hurriedly read most of Orwell's books, especially 1984 and Animal Farm, because then they'd begin to understand the world we live in.” - John Pilger
"I'm sure you guys write the truth but I think sometimes it's the editors who cut out key parts, like facts" - Kevin Keegan
"Lady, people aren't chocolates, do you know what they are mostly? Bastards...bastard coated bastards with bastard fillings, but I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists like you who walk around vomiting sunshine..." - Dr. Perry Cox
"I had a cat once, I dropped a sofa on it, it was a write-off, so I stood on its head" - Dean Learner
"Garth is the most significant artist that I've worked with and I've worked with Lulu and four other people, so were talking crème de la crème. " Dean Learner
"I didn't fight. I gave a motivational seminar." Chuck Norris.
"Sunderland, England's Gaza Strip" - Anonymous Sunderland Uni Student
"Millfield (area of Sunderland) reminds me of Baghdad" - Anonymous Sunderland Uni Student
"No, I didn't order rice" - Me. It's a long story involving a few ciders and an inability to understand an oriental gentleman.
"Do Turkies have wings?" - An ex girlfriend in one of her many glorious moments of blazing intellect.
"Everyone's got a Birthday this year!" - And again.
"There is no bean template" - My best friend stoned tried to claim that not all Baked Beans were the same. She went on to tell us about how they have feelings and such.
"Do you think the alphabet knows which way round it is? Like, does it know which order it is meant to go in?" - Again, best friend stoned.
"Why like, do yous wanna suck it?!" - Another long story that involves me being in Magistrate's Court.
Word Magazine: Did you hear t.A.T.u.’s version of “How Soon Is Now?”
Morrissey: Yes, it was magnificent. Absolutely. Again, I don’t know much about them.
Word Magazine: They are teenage Russian lesbians.
Morrissey: Well, aren’t we all?
I dunno why, but I say it all the time.
with a dark past, haunted by memories from your youth?!
I'm still very disappointed you ran off with your surf board that day...
"The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum."
i said this, following "I think Princess Diana is a cunt".
"Where there is no exaggeration there is no love, and where there is no love there is no understanding. It is only about things that do not interest one, that one can give a really unbiased opinion; and this is no doubt the reason why an unbiased opinion is always valueless."
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
I did get off with her".
"what, you're my best friend and you copped off with my fiance??? You...lovely Bastard this is dynamite!"
I love that show
yeah baby, richard dawkins walks the walk but does he follow through with an actual act of piss?"
They go around shooting crows and trespassers, and eventually because of the EU, themselves