For the last 20 minutes there has been someone in my office (where I am otherwise alone) having a loud conversation on their mobile.

This is made worse by

a) Them seeming to constantly use all the worst turns of phrase in the world such as "<insert self-explanatory comment>, do you know what I'm saying?" Of course she knows what you're saying, you silly bint, your phrasing was absolutely unambiguous and nothing else could be dervied.

b) The conversation consists of her giving the person she is talking to advice that is never heard outside of Disney films. "Follow your heart, you know what I'm saying". "I think the two of you can work together and be good for each other, do you know what I mean" and so on...

So what's happened to you today that's made you want to kill someone?