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I Am Moving To Derby
Derby's really not that bad. I've been to some serious shit holes in this country. Derby's reasonable. Also close to Nottingham.
it's that Home Office has told me i can do one of either:
1/ fly back to Canada. pay the UK Govt £500. Loamy rent a house "in which noone but family lives", get a job with 6 past months of workslips and have a few £1000 in the bank. buy another ticket and fly back to the UK.
(which i cannot do as i don't have the money)
2/ stay in the UK and get "pregnant or seriously ill". pay the UK Govt £395 and get to stay a WHOLE 4 EXTRA MONTHS!
So i am instead holing up in Derby and taking up the hobby of gardening.
I SAID GARDENING!!!
if you need help with the pregnancy thing
Just disappear, that's what everyone else does. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if Jacqui Smith turned out to be an illegal immigrant.
If you do decide to play by the rules just insist that you're a radical jihadi, they'll love it.
nd need a place to stay, my landlord has said I'm free to have guests :-)
where's dom gourlay when you need him?
none of you are proper fans etc.
but i start panting after 5 minutes of running about :(
is wrong with that.
already have it hard enough?
but it wasn't my idea. it was a derbians idea.
There are a hell of a lot worse places to be living. Especially now they've finished building the new shopping centre and bus station!!!!!!
Excitement knows no bounds.
You're going redevelopMENTAL recently!
What part are you looking at moving into?
but that one charmed me
also, Derby is great. Do it.
It's not horrendous.
is where they make Bamoses
but then East Midlands > West Midlands
so its ups and downs
local allegiances aside, Leicester is horrible.
I have no real allegiance to Derby, but the day Leicester heads that list of four is the day the other three either cease to exist or the day Leicester magically turns into a sprawling green field full of naked ladies with the horn.
in a tent or something, with some shade.
And plenty of well cooked pork.
but no, never been.
town I was raised in, never did me no harm ain't it.
Derbyshire wins. Fair compromise?
although may i add the caveat that you relegate nottingham to 3rd place... otherwise, i ain't signing shit.
so my hometown and childhood hometown BOTH have to be relegated below Derby? These negotiations may have reached an impasse.
local authority no less
Nottingham > Derby > Lincoln > Leicester.
Derby only gets that high because I love the Blessington Carriage and I used to love Time Tunnel nights at Union Two and because I was born in Derbyshire.
To be honest, as long as Leicester is fourth, it's an accurate list.
Lincoln has no contribution to make to modern society. The new Shires building in leicester is a tour de force.
just gets on with it, never bothers anyone and is very pretty in places.
Leicester is just dirty.
If these four towns were the Beatles, Lincoln would be George. Spiritual, always the prettiest one, understated but capable of brilliance. Leicester would be Ringo. A complete flangetunnel.
Leicester's not that bad and it's certainly better than Nottingham
except for being completely wrong.
are convinced their city is the best in the country. It's not. Leicester has none of the pretentions and has very reasonably priced curry
is an ace pub, especially for a Sunday session.
I'd say that was a bonus, even if you don't drive. Unless you're planning to start nicking cars as a sideline to the gardening.
And that's not a sentence I thought I'd ever say ever.
and you displayed an endearing level of enthusiasm there, too.
The bit where you get your change from IS CARPETED! JUST TO PROTECT YOUR FINGERS FROM TOUCHING COLD METAL!
Not quite great enough to save Derby from being a pretty shit city though.
Had been a few times in recent years - to visit mates - and got family there. I've always thought it was a total crap-mound. But this time I was actually pleasantly surprised, soon it will be superior to Nottm. Plus, the homeless people there hug you when you give them cigs AND don't smell bad, therefore it must be OK.
therefore I'm right.
Oh the memories come flooding back. I come from Derby and it's really a pretty nice place the more I think about it. It's got everything going for it, lovely parks, a reasonable music scene (and Nottingham is only half an hour away), more investment coming into the city centre and a generally lovely, friendly feel to it. In fact if you moved Derby to where Swansea is then I think I would have my ideal city.