Inspired by the thread on Kenan & Kel and a regular pub conversation amongst my idiot friends who would make anybody's Rugby XV drawn from the pool of talent in 90s American Teen Soaps?
Kenan- fat shit, immobile. Stick him at prop.
Zack from Saved by the Bell- a playmaker, a flighty maker and doer. A definite fly half.
Roger from Sister Sister- a small, pointless idiot with boundless enthusiasm. Third choice scrum half- great in the Lions party.