Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
Sometimes I feel like I just want to shove a dildo up my mother-in-law’s vagina…she’s such a prude, my father-in-law deserves some sort of physical gratification, but his wife is such a prissy self-centered whore that needs to get laid. A lot of my problems would be solved if she would just put out, even for one night
"I’m a closet racist. Even though I believe all people should be equal, I find myself scrutunizing people over their race. Like today, I went shopping, and I told myself that I didn’t want to be in a store with people who were so “lower class”. I hate myself for doing it, but I honestly can’t see anyone other than another WASP being equal with me. I basically said, we wouldn’t converse with these people on a regular basis, and i wouldn’t be seen shopping in the same store as them."
"I am 14 years old and my brother who is 19 just touched me…not in a way my friends do but under my skirt…i dont know what to do..because my underwear started to get all wet and his finger slipped into my body and I liked it ater a minuite..all my friends think my brother is hot..but I always get jealous and say he has a girlfriend when he doesnt..I think I have a crush on him and I think he likes me back…"
My boyfriend said he never masturbates (I know, I didn’t believe it either - I told him he should). I guess he didn’t know how, or something. But now he does (or at least, he said he does).
Now I want to know if he’s thinking about me when he does it.
"he became impotent having an operation so i didn’t have to take the pill. He did it for me! but despite his begging and crying i still went out on a date with his friend and we fucked. I don’t love my husband anymore. I have no respect for a man who can’t fuck. sorry dave, jen x"
"im a 16 year old male listening to Hilary duffs new cd
and i think its the best cd i own
so you all know
although you have to sift through all the ones posted by 14 year old boys. There's one about someone taking a shit on the upper deck of a bus that had me cracked up for days
I was once the most esteemed young scientific mind of my generation. I graduated magna cum laude from Harvard and then did my pHD in advanced botanical engineering at Corpus Christi, Oxford. But I wanted more. I lusted after exploration, after adventure. I put together a team and got sponsorship from the university to lead an expedition into the deepest depths of the jungles of Papua New Guinea. What we found there would change my life, forever. After a difficult voyage there, by the time we'd met up with our native guides in Port Moresby we were exhausted beyond belief. But we had no choice but to press on- if we ever wanted to do this, it had to be now. Infighting began to tear apart our team. Our navigator, Wilkins, and I, had a falling out over the rationing of supplies. He kept on threatening to turn back, either with or without the guides and the rest of the team. Finally, after he found that someone had taken a portion of his water ration without his permission in his sleep (I suspect that it was probably one of the guides), he cracked, marching off in a huff, into the jungle. I gave chase, but I could not persuade him to change his mind.
We pressed on further into the jungle. Then, two days later, I saw a sight that I will never forget in all my years of exile from myself- hung from a tree at the edge of a clearing, Wilkins' severed and sliced-open body, clamped from the neck down in some hideous wooden trap, his body penetrated on both sides by horrific-looking spikes. "Wilkins?!" I explained, to which the I had assumed ex-Wilkins gave out a pained, terrible gurgle, blood pouring out of his mouth like the scarlet foam of so much wasted life.
Then, suddenly, a dread rumbling of deep skin drums- the jungle opened out and we were surrounded by thousands of tiny, hairy, spear-wielding humanoid creatures. From behind me came a crack, a feeling of intense pain gripped me, and when I woke up, I was naked, and enconsed in darkness. Feeling around and above me, I realized that I had been buried alive in some sort of hollowed-out pit. Eventually a tapping, above me, came. First I heard a grunting, and then a lifting, and then suddenly, there was light. A hand grabbed me, and lifted me out of the pit. A tiny man, who cannot have come up to much past my thigh, shoved a bowl of tepid, brown-tinted water into my still-willing hands. Thanking him profusely as I drank, I saw around me one of the strangest, most alien sights of my life, the dreamy, mosaic jungle dwarf-village where I was about to spend the next twelve years of my life.
points for effort, unless they nicked it from a book
in which case, points for plagarism