so i took me brew to the bog and it was a number 2 ok? i sat the cup on top of the bog roll holder not noticing it was slanted. i'm doing me thing and it slipped off and went down my collar, all over my chest, and then hit the floor, the cap jumped off and it gushed under the cubicle wall into the next stall, out into the floor around the urinals. so i'm sat on the throne, pants round me ankles, covered in scalding tea and the guiy in the next stall and at the urinals are sharing expletives.

now i write with a very dubious stain all over my white shirt, bright red burnt neck, and i dont evenm have a cuppa coz the canteen is closed.

moral - dont do it.

thanks, i feel better now.