Everytime I use the lift at work (this sounds like the title of a 1984 Paul Young single don't you think? I'm asking everyone here, ok OKAY?), people always get in and say "6 please" or "4 please" in the usual snooty voice or the irritated like I'm the flaming lift attendent (note to diary: don't stand by the lift buttons).

But really is it rude to a) just bark out your floor and expect the nearest chap to press it for you or b) just press your own floor and then stand with that 'I can't see you and I'm won't breathe out either in case you think I'm unfit' stance.

Or really shouldn't we have cap doffing lift attendants who mirthlessly whistle atonally to cover up the embarrassing silence twixt floor 1 and 10???

God this is dull isn't it?

LOS CAMPS!"!!!!IO"Reo