Don't you just love those little notices where people make futile attempts to contact someone who glanced at them briefly outside Tie Rack in the hope that they would like to pursue a sexual relationship with them?
Some good examples from the Bournemouth Gumtree:
1) sexty tall blonde girl Sat night approx 7pm dec 8th Reply to: Click here to email the poster Date: Sunday 9th December
'you were with another man'!
Good looking prof guy in light brown jacket would like to talk yo you
You were wearing black jeans and black boots, looked fantastic!
*Right, typo in the header...'sexty' start to the message. No mention of where this little sighting occurred. The 'sexty' girl was with another guy anyway, but, obviously she'll drop him like a shot because the guy that posted this has self-declared himself to be 'good looking', apparently he's a professional too, not an English teacher though by the looks of things*
2)where are you now Emma L Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.orgDate: Tuesday 20th November
i'm looking for a girl that i worked with in 1995 when i was a icelandic bell boy and she was a maid at wintergardens hotel.
I was a bell boy and she was a maid at the hotel. well we where friends but we where more with out knowing it i think... and know i djust want to know where she is and what she is doing now.
*Give it up iceboy, it was 13 years ago! You w(h)ere friends, but, more than friends 'without knowing it'? What?! The keyword here is Rohypnol*
Verdict: Fail plus Restraining Order
3)The Beautiful Lady At New Milton Station Every Morning Reply to: email@example.comDate: Tuesday 6th November
There's a woman on the westbound platform every morning when I'm waiting on the eastbound platform for the 7:22am to go to Southampton.
This woman wears glasses and tends to wear a suit dress. She's got straight hair and occasionally wears lovely black stockings on her shapely legs.
If you recognise yourself from this description do drop me a line!
*I'm very suspicious of this one, I can assure you all that there are no beautiful women in New Milton, however, if you were a beautiful woman in New Milton you would want to escape so the station part sounds plausible.....and then he has to ruin it by revealing his sexual fetish for hosiery...'She's got straight hair and occasionally wears lovely black stockings on her shapely legs'. Yeah, I'm sure she'll call*
Verdict: Fail plus Sex Offenders Register
4) Looking 4 Emma, i met her on here but lost her email ad Reply to: Click here to email the poster Date: Friday 26th October
Couple months back now that i was in contact with her, i did a ad on here that i want new friends in bournemouth as i was moving there, but it went on held as i became busy suddenly. Then i lost her email ad.
Im sure her name was Emma from Bournemouth
She is a pole dancer - She said
*Fuck me, where to begin? So, let me see...a 'pole dancer' responded to your advert for 'new friends' in Bournemouth. Hmmm......this seems somewhat unlikely. Bournemouth pole dancers are more likely to be spending their leisure time fucking property developers in return for several hundred pounds per hour than offering to be 'friends' with random internet types. That aside, 'Emma L' is most likely to be a 47 year old fisherman from Bridport with nothing much to do*
Verdict: Fail plus MEGALOLZ!!!111