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wipe my fingerprints from saw handle and place saw in his hand - Done!
What would that involve anyway
It would be like felching, but with urethras and ABANDON REPLY
a la "I'm gonna git you sucka"
hummer in da garage kind of way
maybe a blackberried suicide 'note' explaining how he can't face telling his folks that he's gay
and engineer a situation where he would dive into a machine that makes club biscuits (maybe after spotting some bling in there?) and get chewed up. His remains would then literally be, 'in da club'.
Make him listen to the El-P record. He'd ACTUALLY kill himself there and then knowing that he'll never, EVER beat that shit.
Or we could employ a professional impersonator / pissed mumbling tramp to mimic his "style", lay down a track declaring gang warfare with a rival bunch and wait for the rest to sort itself out