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i dont even want to start.
BAUBLIN' HOT, HOT, HOT, WE'RE BAUBLIN' HOT.
No, I'm eggnog-stic.
which improves the joke no end
"Nice weather for snowmen!"
What did santa have for breakfast?
What's the best Christmas robot?
How many Santas does it take to replace a light bulb?
There's only one!
completely lost me here sonny. punctuation would help too
doesnt Santa Clause have kids?
Cos he only empties his sack once a year, and thats down a chimney.
is a shit take on perrenial favourite 'why is santa's sack massive? because he only comes once a year'.
yes it is.
to repeat that joke to be honest....
he does like to shower kids with his gifts....
A) Because of the yuletide
Q) What did Father Christmas say when he got stuck up the chimney?
what country was this in? were they all ok?
to buy Christmas present was the town's homeless orphans.
awash with laughs?
Mint Spies! (Mince Pies)
dont get it
A joke is a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. These jokes will normally have a punch line that will end the sentence to make it humorous.
hasn't been on DiS before.
He santa a card
RUGOLF THE RED-NOSED RAINDEER
If you read your contract you would know that you all waived the EU Working Time Directive so you aren't entitled to any further breaks and must stay until the job is done, or you will be in breach of contract and will not get paid. It has been brought to my attention that we aren't in the EU anyway, so it was a real waste of paper putting that clause in. Also, you don't really exist so get on with it
Santa Claus so fat the British Geological Survey hired him to carry out some seismographs. You see, in additional to being clinically obese he also carries a PhD in Geological Science.
"All I want for Christmas is [my] flue [cleaned]*"
* To avoid unnecessary soiling of Santa's clothing
Father Christmas with a musician?
father christmas with pay per view football?
Santa Claus with an orange drink?
what do you call it when father xmas' mum?
Father Christmas with a big cat?
santa paws if you prefer
Father Christmas with a mystical poem?
father christmas who runs like a horse?
father christmas with a brothel?
what do you get if you cross a publishing house with Father Christmas called?
in the santa stores.
make a faux pas(s the cranberry sauce)
This is a dark day.
I SAID SORRY!!
I'm just prone to MASSIVE OVERRACTION.
Father Christmas when he's damned to an eternity in hell?]
"ho ho ho!"
Because he has a malignant tumor.
shes a right slag
this made me LOL!
made me almost choke on a gingerbread xmas tree.
Santa's favourite petrol station?
is based on the story of a footballer who, whilst playing at another clubs ground, bummed his boss?
Away in a manager.
I think that's the worst joke I've ever told. Seriously.
is based on wanking off loads of christians?
Oh come all ye faithful.
good king wencless-lass
is based on the opposite of day that keeps it's mouth shut?
is based on the dwarf mafia boss's door unlocking device?
you're not cheating
Adam (the)Holly(and the Ivy)oake
Hello operator, can you tell me what gig to go to?
Yes, how about a selection of the biggest selling singles from the year, with a healthy splattering of glitter and fake snow?
Wow, you're a ChristmasTopOfThePoperator!
:D :D :D
he had felt his presents...
Q. What's Princess Diana getting for Christmas?
A. Nothing. She's dead.
Some dead fish.
Boxing Day - he loves a bit of Cold Turkey...
What do people in Bristol listen to on Christmas Eve?
Midnight Mass-ive Attack
played Santa, would that make him a Ho-Ho-Hobo?
OK, I know I posted this just now on the Gigs Board, but I think it's funny...
Because he's a fat cunt.
An Advent Colander
Oi hippy, what's the opposite of yes?
A Merry Crass-mas
A merry ChrisCrossMas
Because of the sandwiches (sand which is) (sand witches) there.
Was well fucked off about it