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Do you lose friends as you get older?

Marlvrum [Edit] [Delete] 44 replies 19:57, 19 December '07

My parents don't really have 'friends' apart from each other. I mean, they have people they know at work that they occasionally go out to dinner with/meet for a coffee (more my mum than dad mind).

Is this a common trait with your parents?

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  • Nope, not really

    Am I just diffrent or what?

    ChrisJabe | 19 Dec '07, 20:00 | X
    • You're 16!

      I think he means more the middle age area.

      While yes, I think my parents (mid 50's) still have friends, I find they don't see them as much as you do at a younger age.

      But they still socialise. Whether at work, Church or the Cricket Club etc. And they still occasionally have people over (more so my mum than my dad). And they still keep in contact with old friends that have moved away.

      evilhairyhamster @ChrisJabe | 19 Dec '07, 20:06 | X
      • Yeah, that would probably be it.

        But I don't see it stopping.

        ChrisJabe @evilhairyhamster | 19 Dec '07, 20:29 | X
        • fair enough

          evilhairyhamster @ChrisJabe | 19 Dec '07, 20:31 | X
  • My mum and dad

    have never met socially with other adults who they didn't work with or were related to them. Ever. Then again I can distinctly remember a 13-year stretch between the ages of 5 and 18 when neither of them even so much as hugged me, so it might just say more about them as people than parents in general.

    MelesMeles | 19 Dec '07, 20:00 | X
    • ...wow.

      That's quite a wierd thought for me

      ChrisJabe @MelesMeles | 19 Dec '07, 20:02 | X
  • Yep

    Of course you do.

    Hahaharoldramis | 19 Dec '07, 20:01 | X
  • ...

    sounds like my folks.

    think my dads got about 4 friends that he plays golf with. my mums probably a few more.

    Quite envious really that they get on so well even after all these years.

    In preparation, I've decided to lose a friend every year, until I'm 40. That way I would have to deal with all the sudden rejection

    belsizeparka | 19 Dec '07, 20:01 | X
  • Its very similar to mine

    I think its fairly sad. I suppose when they put 20 or so years into raising a child, often it doesnt allow for much else. But I'm not even sure my parents have interests, let alone friends.

    twicetwoequalsfour | 19 Dec '07, 20:03 | X
  • Ha ha

    I have more friends now than ever

    Mr_JDTraynor | 19 Dec '07, 20:03 | X
    • My parents have children that love them

      A trade off I suppose

      twicetwoequalsfour @Mr_JDTraynor | 19 Dec '07, 20:08 | X
    • You also don't have a wife.

      The two may be connected.

      keiths_tele @Mr_JDTraynor | 19 Dec '07, 21:07 | X
  • Don't know.

    I never had any !

    lyle | 19 Dec '07, 20:15 | X
  • Not necessarily an age thing too

    A lot of young people dont have friends?

    twicetwoequalsfour | 19 Dec '07, 20:16 | X
    • nah

      my parents still have loads of friends. my dad sounds like the dad that befriends strangers - every time he goes somewhere he seems to come back with a new best buddy.

      shishapangma @twicetwoequalsfour | 19 Dec '07, 20:24 | X
      • The older I get

        The more I have perfected the art of upsetting people. I think I take after my old man.

        livingthedream @shishapangma | 19 Dec '07, 20:31 | X
  • i have a massive "extended family"

    made up of my mum and dad's closest friends. they've hung around long enough that they think they've got this family thing going on, so i have to call them "aunt" or "uncle" and think of their kids as my cousins. i hate that.

    but, i do think you lose friends as you get older. i'm currently trying to get rid of one i've known since about 16. while the rest of us have experienced the usual sort of gravity-defying highs and earth-shattering lows that mature you into adulthood, she seems to be stuck at the most annoying and immature aspect of age 14. i'm all for 'youthful' enthusiasm (christ, we're only 20), but the way she acts is just ridiculous and intolerable. i can stand it no longer, so i'm cutting her free.

    eightyseven | 19 Dec '07, 20:32 | X
    • Shame that it came to that,

      But ah well. Do you mean in the "I'm well mental" way?

      ChrisJabe @eightyseven | 19 Dec '07, 20:38 | X
      • yes, exactly this

        she's also studiously "random" - such as wanting a picture with a guy who has a beard, just because he has a beard. she also severely lacks any political or social awareness, and becomes all blank whenever you try to have a meaningful discussion with her.

        eightyseven @ChrisJabe | 19 Dec '07, 21:00 | X
        • I cannot stand the

          "I'm crazy I am" mentality. What have you got to prove!?. Also, I'd be pissed off if I had a beard and that happened to me.

          ChrisJabe @eightyseven | 19 Dec '07, 21:02 | X
          • No pun intended with the "mentality" bit.

            ChrisJabe @ChrisJabe | 19 Dec '07, 21:05 | X
            • the bearded guy was awesome

              she said, "WOW! you have a BEARD!? that is so AWESOME! can i get a PICTURE of YOU!?"

              and he just looked her up and down and went: "no".

              her face was fucking priceless.

              eightyseven @ChrisJabe | 19 Dec '07, 21:21 | X
        • 'Studiously random'

          I blame Hollyoaks for this phenomenon.

          I'm not sure what it's like elsewhere in the country, but, Bournemouth University students appear to regard the cast of the aforementioned show as role models both in the behavioural and sartorial sense.

          Troubling.

          Alex-in-Ciderland @eightyseven | 19 Dec '07, 21:10 | X
          • Indeed,

            It's quite scary. I'd say that at least they're not all murdering rapists, but most of them are on the basis of the 6 episodes I've seen.

            ChrisJabe @Alex-in-Ciderland | 19 Dec '07, 21:11 | X
  • my dad has his investment club

    hah.

    RockNRollMassacre | 19 Dec '07, 20:44 | X
  • my parents have a few friends

    from when they were younger and a few more now...

    hedgehog | 19 Dec '07, 20:45 | X
  • mine

    seem to socialise a fair bit, go to friends' houses for dinner and stuff quite a lot. But because they both come from India they have a lot of friends spread across the globe (some back where they come from and many more who migrated out). I always imagine it must be quite strange and difficult not seeing 'close' friends for years on end.

    I also think my parents don't seem to have as close friendships as people my age tend to. I guess that's what comes with marriage though.

    OceanStorm | 19 Dec '07, 22:25 | X
  • All of my mother's friends are from the internet

    ..come to think of it.............

    oh god.

    PocketMouse | 19 Dec '07, 22:50 | X
  • I have far more friends aged 35

    than I did aged 20.

    It's up to the individual to make an effort to keep in touch with people. If that sounds obvious, it is. If it sounds patronising, it wasn't meant to be!

    Damian | 20 Dec '07, 00:20 | X
  • my mum has a close friend, and goes to work night outs etc.

    but that's about it. My dad goes to the football with a bunch of other hardcore fans, but other than that, they don't really have many friends.

    I think it's just as you get older, you aren't as uncomfortable being alone for long periods of time, or feel the pressure to have a big social life. Or at least that's what I'm guessing it's down to!

    Omgz1one | 20 Dec '07, 00:38 | X
  • .

    my parents have a couple of friends from when they were younger and 2 couples they are really good friends with now but they only other people they know are through their church and they dont really socialise with them.
    i would lose the shrapnel of my mind i have left if i end up like them socially.

    werk | 20 Dec '07, 01:49 | X
    • yeh

      i mean i need quite a lot of 'me' time but i have a fairly large social group and there's at least a dozen people who i've known for quite a while but if i lose contact with i would really feel i had lost a limb and at least another dozen i would be very very keen to keep in fairly regular contact with.

      werk @ZsaZsaGaBoring | 20 Dec '07, 02:02 | X
      • .

        in fairness, i've been pretty bad at being a 'good friend' with certain friends i love dearly and due to some of my own mental problems have really had a trouble being close to some really close friends one-to-one regardless or our relationships. but if/when i could get past social anxietys i would happily see much more of my friends than i do.

        werk @ZsaZsaGaBoring | 20 Dec '07, 02:33 | X
        • i'm 25 and lost a whole bunch

          of friends this year. i had way more when i was 23 and 24...i'm not old but i am,like many others, getting older

          loamiathon | 20 Dec '07, 01:58 | X
          • the older people get

            *generally* the more commitments they may have, i.e. children, debts, mortgages, responsibilities. These can all stymie social activity.

            As people get older, they tend to move from the city to the suburbs and beyond, so you're not as close geographically. And hangovers get worse, so people want to get hammered less regularly.

            And *some* people crave comfort over excitement the older they get.

            boney @loamiathon | 20 Dec '07, 08:05 | X
        • when I lived at home

          my parents didn't really have friends. Now both me and my sister have left home, they have loads! They're always going out to gigs and the pub and shopping and stuff. I suppose they didn't have enough time for it before.

          nice_squirrel | 20 Dec '07, 09:31 | X
        • Yes.

          But you gain better ones... real friends...

          Rose-Kitten | 20 Dec '07, 09:40 | X
        • My mum is 53, stepdad 44 (going on her age!), they have lots of friends and are constantly entertaining/seeing them.
          That said, they're both very close to some of their brothers, so this would include socialising with them, too. I think they've actually become MORE social over the years.

          MirriLondon | 20 Dec '07, 09:41 | X
        • Is it natural to shed friends as you get older.

          Your interests change, you out-grow people. You may replace them with new ones but often people aged 30+ have a smaller, tighter knit group of friends.

          I_Have_An_Idea | 20 Dec '07, 09:44 | X
        • I hope I don't become

          one of these old people who heavily indulges and takes great pleasure in making small talk.

          Inevitable?

          moless | 20 Dec '07, 10:02 | X
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