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No real explaination needed.
'Dental plan / Lisa needs braces' pretty much pips it for me.
the bit when homer is in mr burn's office and he lays on his side and keeps shouting woop wooo woooop wooop woo woooppp
or failing that the episode when homer cant stop screaming is amazing
'Gime? What is a Gime?' [Reading the 'GYM' board].[Walks inside and realising where he is] 'oh A Gime'.
The Bible; it's the pranksters bible.
is that line from the Stonecutter's song:
"who holds back the electric car? / who made Steve Guttenberg a star? / We did."
when i was in america, i had much fun trying to convince americans that in britain, we pronounce gym "gime". lambs to the slaughter, lemme tell ya.
by Grandpa Simpson when he's in the church and goes mental.
"Smithers, dismember the corpse and send his widow a corsage..."
"Welcome to your master bedroom!"
Grandpa puts down his newspaper, and Lisa goes "Aah! Phew, I thought Dad had melted".
I started repeating that over and over the last time things got a bit "digital" when i was away with me band :/
Love the bit when he gets the sugar out of his pockets
I am in total agreement.
'As a matter of fact, I didn't even give you my coat'
Yes. Perfectly topped off by "Aww! The Denver Broncos?!"
SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED
"and you call your self the king of the jungle!"
"theres on thing his money cant buy"
"whats that dad"
at the baseball match and the crowd are throwing pretzels at Mr Burns and then "Hall-of-famer Whitey Ford is on the pitch now... pleading for some kind of sanity" (cut away to crowd) and then you see Whitey unconscious on the ground.
"I never realised how boring this game is"
"wow how did you do that?"
"its a flower"
"White gold!... Texas cheese!... sweetener!"
"Those are fabulous prizes!"
"Mother I'm just talking to the sugar man."
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women."
"I've got to guard the sugar, Marge, there are thieves everywhere! Hey pal where did you get the tea for that sugar?" "I nicked it, in that split second when you let your guard down. And I'd do it again."
"Well I may not be the darling of the so-called city fathers..." (and that entire speech is just pure gold)
And then the bee men who speak just like Batman and Robin at the end.
Doesn't last the whole episode, but everything about it is just pure genius.
RIGHT NOW. Good stuff.
Hey, McBain. Your shoe's untied.
From here they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look. Upon closer inspection, these appear to be loafers.
The bit where the English guy climbs out of the sugar saying he nicked it is brilliant. :D
"Thank you sir, if only the sugar were as sweet as you"
- when homer sees apu getting it on in the quicky mart cupboard
- when apu shows the a bollywood film with the eye
- mr burns and the spruce moose
- the camp granada bit
- "mcbain to base. under attack by commie nazis"
im with you on this one...or
i like to sing this a lot
My gf plays that sometimes and I sing along. I should put it on youtube! Shall I??? We could do others, she has the Simpsons songbook.
just discovered what I want for Xmas.
SOME BROWNIE BEFORE YOU GO TO BED!!!"
"200 channels. Nothin' but cats"
version of dr zaius is possibly greater
When homer throws pudding in Lenny's eyes ("MY EYES!!!)and Mr. Burns gives him money as his prank monkey. So he does it again. ("WHYYYYYY!!!") He gets more money.
Homer gets carried away and throws more pudding. But not at Lenny...
Mr. Burns: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! That's Karl! (Genuine sympathy)
He takes Karl over to the eye bath.
that years from now the Simpsons will be remembered in the same way we think about the Beatles now. Watching the ancient episodes showing on 4 right now, it is like listening to the pre-Revolver stuff. If I'd never seen the electric chair therapy scene before, I'm pretty sure I'd wet myself over it. The trying times post 1971/Season 9 will never overshadow things like A Day In The Life/the Dental Plan episode, nor the simple beauty of the opening chords of Strawberry Fields/Sideshow Bob getting hit by a rake over and over again.
It will remain one of the greatest cultural benchmarks of our time, certainly of the 1990's.
"Right now I'm thinking about holding another meeting... in bed."
The auction at Krusty's mansion:
Jasper - "Aw, I only brought a dime. I didn't know there'd be pornography."
I can't think of them now, but in everyday life I'm quoting Simpsons at any opportunity.
I like when the TV execs are explaining 'Police Cops' to Homer :) "We were gonna make a show about badges..." Actually, i like that episode:
You like Thai?
Tie good, you like shirt? :D
"There are three ways to down things, the right way, the wrong way and the MAx Power way"
"Isn't that just the wrong way?"
"Yeah... but faster!"
and when Homer gets caught in the tar:
"now I'll reach in and pull my legs out"
"and now I'll pull my arms out with my face"
"i cannot avenge my parter's death with this pea-shooter!"
I love McBain.
the max power episode is my favourite, the bit where the judge reads out the other names homer comes up with cracks me right up...
"hercules p. rockerfeller? rembrandt q. einstein? handsome b. wonderful???"
mega, as they say, lolz...
you may remember me from such Driver's Ed films as 'alice's adventures through the windshield glass', and 'the decapitation of larry leftfoot'!"
when they want to go to Duff Gardens and Homer's been eating that mouldy sandwich.
And also when Homer walks into the room and Patti/Selma says "hmm...am I wrong, or did it just get fatter in here?"
I can't stay mad at you!
so I says to mabel, I says...
"this is for what i did to your fireplace"
with his beard in the pencil sharpener
standing on the rakes. For about 5 minutes.
the whole Valentine's episode where Lisa breaks Ralph's heart.
'fly my pretties, fly...'
'no time for you old man'
'learning to weasel out is what separates us from the animals...'cept the weasel..'
"Well if it isn't the leader of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons!"
and the whole peanut discussion in Homer's head.
incidentally, just went on wikipedia to get the quotes right and Simpsons is the feature of the day.
When Lisa goes to college and all the other kids roll down the hill and Ralph is the last one and just collapses down the hill
and she's winning us back!"
it's got to be Ralph - either singing the 21st century fox theme, or saying, "i like men now!". I thought the film was short on "classic" moments (after seeing it 20+ times, spiderpig became the most annoying summer cinema phenomenon...kids would sing along to it at every showing).
It was barely worth seeing once!
in a cinema
"Unlikely, sir. They both spell and pronounce their names differently"
I believe you have a letter for me."
"Okay Mr Burns, what's your first name?"
"I don't know."
"Your tears say more than real evidence ever could."
"That's not enough! We demand MORE ASBESTOS!"
when Homer is so shocked by what he sees he walks home backards and at one point on stilts. genius!
is phrased is genius!
he finds that picture of himself on that japanese washing liquid bottle :)
Just the word fishbulb
"Unleash the power of apples!"
"I sure am Marge"
Cut to thought bubble of Homer flying through the streets of a City on a hanglider shooting people with lasers:
"You can run, but you can't GLIDE! U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A...."
i well didnt laught at that, bad humour from recent series :(
when i realised the fridge was cold '
Ralph Wiggum = NOT FUNNY EVER
"My water bowl is empty"
NOT FUNNY EVER
i think it was a reply in the wrong place rather than a rebuttle.
They should axe Ralph to leave more lines for Martin
pinpointing the precise moment where his heart breaks in two?
"Wait... there it is."
The line is delivered by Bart
He is brilliant in that whole episode though. Not necessarily funny: just brilliant.
"And they say we should surrender to the British? NEVER!"
Well I'll just ask a random student, Oh I don;t know Lisa Simpson,
Lisa when was the battle of blah blah blah
It was was 18 whatever and was caused due to blah blah...
Ralph - What's a battle?
Chalmers - Skinner did that child say 'What's a battle...'
"Glorious gold, so-so silver, and shameful bronze..."
the most intelligent thing you'll ever say and no one was around to hear it"
as sweet as you, sir'
when smithers stumbles into him one night while drunk....
"HEY, sidewalk's for regular walking, not none of that fancy walkin"
Homer: I do have a story about two other young marrieds. Now, the wife of this couple had an interesting quirk in the bedroom. It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow.
Krabappel: We need names!
Homer: Well, er, let's just call them, uh, "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y." So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson!"
Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories.
Bart shakes a can of Duff up A LOT and puts it back in the fridge.
Homer goes to open it and we get a
Then a cut away to a near-nuclear explosion.
The first Simpsons moment to make me truly laugh until I cried. No idea what episode it's in :(
Wiggum - "Am proceeding by foot. Bring pretzels"
or something like that :D
that can stand on its on merits. Its the one were homer is in hospital and they keep on telling him stories whilst hes in a comer
"Um..it happened 25 years before I was born Sir"
"Oh, that's your excuse for everything"
Homer: Here are your messages: "You have 30 minutes to move your car", "You have 10 minutes", "Your car has been impounded", "Your car has been crushed into a cube", "You have 30 minutes to move your cube."
Homer: [answering] Yello, Mr. Burns' office.
Burns: Is it about my cube?
"Animals crap in our homes, and we have to clear it up? That's not America! That's not even Mexico!"
i got it off a hairdryer
the Plant of the Apes skit is probably my favourite of all.
"I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z."
"Oooh, help me Dr. Zaius!"
"Can I play the piano any more?"
"Of course you can."
"Well I couldn't before."
Ape strikes pose: "Dr Zaius Dr Zaius!" Then breakdances.
"I love you Dr Zaius."
i was wrong, it was earth all along. yes youve finally made a monkey.."
also the one with mr pinky ( think thas his name the lobster)
*sobs* mmmmmmm *sobs* mmmmmmmmm
I am the Lizard Queen!
at that "himpan-A to chimpan-Z" line.
'no mother, its just the northern lights'
Ozzie Smith falling helplessly through the fabric of existance. Cracks me up every single time.
From Maine to San Diego.
Talking softball, Manningly and Conseco,
Ken Griffy's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
We're talking Homer, Ozzy and the Straw
the best line of that song is 'Mike Socia's tragic illness made us smile'
Homer: "Marge i'm not going to lie to you"
Then he just walks away, pure classic.
I was just pissing myself at that line when I noticed it was you.
Our taste really is impeccable!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT WAS FINGER LING-LING GOOD!
when I heard it.
Marge -'Homer, that plant called today and if you don't go in today, don't bother coming in Monday.'
Homer -'Whoo hoo, 4 day weekend!'
Homer: "Stop pummeling me! It's really painful!"
Every single word that Moe says.
Lisa is asked to join Mensa were they decide to just have the red and amber traffic lights and it cuts to Lenny in his car who say "C'mon, stay yellow, stay yellow! Man, I'm making record time! ...If only I had some place to be."
to the tune of goldfinger
quimby attatches himself to the electric chair.
"wow, how did you make the smoke!"
homer: marge, may i play devil's advocate for a moment?
marge: sure, homey.
CUT TO homer playing "Devil's Advocate" pinball game at the Quik-E-Mart.
but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
"Is that bad?"
"Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
also. "We discovered Kennedys evil secret.."
"Ich bin ein berliner"
"hes a nazi! get him!"
is the simpsons peak to date. Endlessly twirling etc. Woo.
"Why, if it isn't my old friend Mr McGregg
with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg..."
Or the entire of the bear patrol/immigration episode
Or the entire of the Homer Badman episode.
"MR SIMPSON NOOOOOOOOOO"
Rowdy Roddy Peeper.
"Of course he's evil; listen to the music!"
how later in that episode on a newspaper there's the sub headline "Bear Patrol step up bombing campaign"
is the number of little carried on jokes like that they put in every episode.
Gets me every time...
"I'll be cold dead in the ground before I recognise MIssouri!"
Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs
I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.
And quite clearly:
Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
I think that was implied by what I said.
Implied... Or implode?
Do you think it was my power plant that killed those ducks, Smithers?
Smithers: No doubt about it, sir.
Mr Burns (crying): Excellent.
GREASE ME UP, WOMAN!!!
there's nerrie a creature alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman.
"Better check if the coast's clear.. meh, it's probably clear"
also, from the Mensa one, Comic Book Guy:
"i am smart, much smarter than you... HIBBERT!"
"Daryllllll, Darylllllllll, daryllllllllll"
'That filthy monkey made the orange juice you're drinking'
'Pray for Mojo'
Tutor - I see there are a lot of new people here so I guess it's out with ze old in with ze nucleus
Oh I seem to have dropped my notes
Homer - HHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH He dropped his notes! Did you you see that jerk?! He dropped his notes, Hahhhhaahhaha ARRRRRRGHHH HA HA HA HA...
I've been wanting to tell you this for quite some time...
Er, Homer I don't know you, my wife and your wife are friends
You stink, you and your whole lousy operation stinks, I quit!
Gee, er don't quit
This is never easy to say, I'm gonna have to saw of your arms
They'll grow back right?!?!
"You just don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you Saxy Boy?"
and of course
"I know Weinstein's parents were upset, Superintendent, but I was sure it was a phony excuse. I mean, it sounds so made up: 'Yom Kippur' "
No love for the New York episode.
Convenient voice: Thank you for calling the parking violations bureau. To plea `not guilty,' press `one' now. [Homer dials `one'] Thank you. Your plea has been...
Male rough voice: Rejected.
Convenient voice: You will be assessed the full fine plus a small...
Male rough voice: Large lateness fee.
Convenient voice: Please wait by your vehicle between 9 AM and 5 PM for
parking officer Steve...
Male rough voice: Grabowski.
i'll take a crab juice."
"No bowl... stick!
Homer driving with the clamp still on is comedy gold too.
The whole of the Adam West bit:
"And how come Batman doesn't dance any more? Remember the Bat 2C..."
That foreign car:
"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene"
"Get outta here you lousy... season!"
"You are fully regulated and licensed by the government aren't you?" "Shut up boy..."
GRIMES: But.. but this was a contest for CHILDREN
LENNY: Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out!
BANNER: Wiggum, you're out... suspended indefinitely. *walks over to other officers* Tuck in that shirt, get those shoes shined... take that BADGE out of your mouth. You're police officers
BANNER: Well, what you waiting for... somebody to kiss you goodbye?
BANNER: Well, answer me this, what kinda pet shop is filled with rumbunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1am?
MOE: Erm... only the best damn pet shop in town!
Rex Banner: You're out there somewhere, Beer Baron, and I'll find you.
Homer: [in the distance] No, you won't!
Rex Banner: Yes, I will!
Homer: [again] Won't!
Banner - Best single episode character ever
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? A this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: Erm... No.
Marge: "There's something different about Bart."
Homer: "New glasses?"
Marge: "No, something inside..."
Homer: "Probably misses his old glasses."
Pretty much the only thing Homer does in that episode, but damn. Such delivery!
Poison, poison... tasty fish.
'Only who can prevent forest fires? ... You pressed "you," referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is "you".'
'Look at them. Smug and secure in their finery. Mocking us.'
'If we take the chairlift we'll get a clear view of the area directly below the chairlift.'
Grampa: "Now! Hey, listen! Now, my story begins in 19 dickety two. We had to say dickety 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety six miles."
Martin: "Dickety? Highly dubious!"
apu - "Oh Squishy lady, you've had less than 9 children haven't you? Haven't you!!"
"This is just between you and me, smashed hat"
...I can't decide without the pictures'
thats a funny name, I would have called them chazzwozzers.
All those opposed... ne
Who keeps saying that?
It was him, he did it, wets getim fellas...'
Helicopter pilot, as he and the Simpsons are about to land.
Helicopter Pilot: Welcome to Itchy and Scratchyland, where nothing can possib-lie go wrong. PossibLY go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.
Homer: Well, well, well. Flawless Flanders wants help from Stinkypants Simpson.
Ned: Yeah, I guess I do.
Homer: Welly, welly, welly. Mr. Clean wants to hang with Dirty Dingus McGee.
Ned: Well, will you teach me the secret of your intoxicating lust for life?
Homer: Wellity, wellity, wellity--
Ned: Stop that!
Bart: “Homer you just killed the zombie Flanders”
Homer: “he was a zombie”
Car impound guy - 'You must be stupider than you look'
Homer - 'Stupider like a fox!'
Bart - 'I'm going to teach some kids a lesson'
Homer - 'Hear that Marge? Barts a tutor now. Toot on son, toot on!'
Bart's quit his tutoring job to join a violence gang!
"There you go!"
"That's not a knife, THIS is a knife!"
"That's not a knife, that's a spoon..."
"Ah, I see you've played knifey-spoony before!"
Jacques: You'd love it, It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you would at breakfast, but you get a good meal!
where homer says 'doh'.
Linguo IS dead.
Duffman: Duff-MAN doesn't like the looks of this!
Isotopes owner: The fans love a nut. Remember the busty streaker who ran onto the field and farted at the in-fielders? We could have well just found her replacement!
Duffman: I have a bad feeling about this, OOH YEH!
Isotopes owner: Be quiet, Sid!
Duffman (normal voice): You be quiet, Howard!
See also: "DUFFMAN... CAN'T... BREATHE!"
...i like your sheets."
makes me laugh and cry and then laugh again and then cry again
i think it might be the lottery one or something where homer has a vision of himself walking into work
carl: there's something different about you... did you get your hair cut or something?
homer: LOOK AGAIN, CARL.
lenny: oh yeeeeah, youre 10 feet tall and made out of gold!
*cue random manga-style cutaway of homer towering over the city laughing manically*
...use your brains to help us.
Prime example of a newer episode you thought was shit the first time but in the context of history actually contains a few classic moments.
Homer: *sniff* I'll take him...do you have him in blonde?
Homer: And that constellation is called Alan....the Cowboy.
Pepe: Oh Papa Homer, you are so learn-ed!
Homer: Learned son, it's pronouced learned.