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1. Using Morning Wood for sex?
2. Shitting without pissing?
3. The "Power Through"?
but can I know what the third one is
not sure. and i'm a man and everything.
Or just the right amount.
power trough, like that football fan piss thing
Of course. The Power Through is the once in a blue moon ability to sustain a usable erection past an initial ejaculation.
You get extra points if your partner doesn't notice the initial ejaculation so you look like a massive stud.
These points are deducted if your partner gets bored.
I have to agree, the satisfaction levels are incredible. Especially from the second one.
You total weirdo.
I managed to almost kill the moment when (3) happened by pausing and saying "Wow".
Me: Oh, nothing. Carry on.
I say 'wow' every time I ejaculate anyway. It still amazes me.
That shitting without pissing thing is brilliant though. Especially when said shit is occurring in a bin bag in your mates abandoned tent at Reading. Could have been nasty otherwise.
context is all.
Better than "SPLASHY SPLASHY TIME!"
'shitting with minimal wipe' in there and you've got yourself a list
i get this often
as for 3, well, i prefer to own up, pull out, waggle it a bit and get back in 5 minutes later.
When something seems too good to be true, it's always best to take another wipe
... a security wipe to know that you dont need to wipe, thus eliminating the genius?
in relation to the 'wow'- my housemate shouts BAM when he comes. His girlfriend confirmed it last night. I heard it this morning :(
just once, or like BAM BAM BAM?
she described it as 'yeah yeah yeah yeah BAM!'
the girlfriend and I were in bed with red hangovers but we giggled/choked when we heard that this morning
whoosh BAM! would be better.
but realised I'd probably get dumped and never find anyone who will actually sleep with me again.
You hear about people shouting out the wrong name during sex, but it's not usually their own.
You sometimes hear of people shouting their own name.
I don't do this, but if they happen to be shouting my name, I agree.
for the full effect.
The full effect would be:
2) Punching air
3) Walking off. Not just rolling over and going to sleep, but actually physically leaving the room. Extra points for whistling.
what's your average?
I would say... 7.
I've never had a 10, but one night I had five 2's.
point 2: penetrated something
point 3: sustained for longer than 5 minutes
points 4-10: ???
Any chance of some leeway on that one?
that's all, i'm being generous
re: that first answer. Any chance of some leeway on that one?
the same amount of leeway in measuring terms that allows blokes to ride roughshod over what "six inches" actually means.
Is roughshod like when you use two condoms?
but only if the one on the outside is made of sandpaper.
Points 4-10 are pretty much illegal in this country
Do you get points for doing things wrong? Like trying to put it in their arse/belly button?
In that case, 3.
It's complex. All sorts of things can affect the overall score.
Lights on/off/candles/other faggy shit
Whether you're listening to their music or yours
Seamless/non-verbal position switch
Quality of Post Match Conference
has to be a high points scorer. I love it when that happens. Makes me feel like Sting
Chris Kamara: "Unbelievable!"
Alan Hansen" "Yes, excellent penetration down the left hand side, they really pushed their size advantage home"
Bobby Robson: "*unintelligible* SEX! *unintelligible*"
and nobody can see the tears this thread is providing
put in in someones belly button three times?
laugh out loud at belly button sex
Laughed so hard I got a stitch :(
Pissing in the sink IS disgusting. Shower is fair game though.
unless you're at Crobar, in which case it is not only tolerated but pretty much expected.
I do love that place.
sink = gross
Girls don't piss in the shower, Shirley? Up until recently I - a man with questionable hygiene standards - had never even considered pissing in the shower. But then my brother said he always did it so from then on the floodgates had opened, so to speak
when the toilet wasn't in the same room. I don't see how it would be that gross though, you're washing yourself anyway, better than a meagre wipe.
It's just that I had the image of when liquid clings to something as it runs down. And that 'liquid' was your urine, and that 'something' was your leg
pretty much the same temperature too!
*leaves the internet*
Before someone else gets there.
and 80% have regular internet access.
do the math.
get electrocuted each year whilst sitting at their computers. Their deaths go unexplained, but for the strange musky smell surrounding the scene
what did you do to that poor girl?
He's one of my fresher's I'm supposed to steward through university life.
He introduced himself thus: "Hello, I am THE MY"
I had to turn around before I could look him in the face.
he even managed the accent.
allowed to use the term Chinaman anymore. I'm not sure why though.
unless you were staring at my feet the whole time :P
Get me, all manly and that.
i do it all the time. To the point where i have a shit, finish up and wipe, get up then realise i needed a piss too and have to go back.
Should i really be revealing this on the internet?
i wouldnt employ you now. you fucking weirdo!
on the toilet. Good call
at dinner with your girlfriend's parents, I guess
Better still than them revealing it to you.
P.S. You have a shit then decide you need a piss? I've heard of the other way around, but this... this is impressive.
not to get all scatological, but it's more of a 'forget i need a piss too' situation when i'm busy dropping the kids off at the pool...
Now where's my black and decker workmate..
So that it has to be included in the End of the Week DiS email thing
"The Holy Grail (Mancentric)
- Where DiSers discuss the joys of their sex lives and novel shits"
blokes can't shit without pissing. Women are so much further up the evolutionary tree.
Make it happen people
Best Jag ever.
I don't always read them, but for the last couple of weeks this 'top five' bit has caught my eye
but none of them for quite a while.
this thread made my funnybone have an orgasm.
This thread is too funny... vote
make me most disturbed :(
Mine are more disturbing. I'm just a bad influence.
I thought something cool was happening in Manchester. :(