Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
Feels like death
but it's not enough
but it eases the pain a little.
description of pain
i just cried and said "why do i have a job?! please sack me, i don't want to work when it means missing out on buying MBV tickets" to my boss.
God, how embarrassingly emo was that first post?
its nice to know that others have problems
It just feels like about 5 problems sellotaped together
pain pain pain
in the heart
and start fancying someone else.
Or at least go and pull someone else, then you can close your eyes and pretend shes the other girl
of doing any of those things at the moment, apart from the bit about closing my eyes. Maybe I should try it on a pillow or bunched up jacket?
and she freaked out a bit. I think a normal course of events wouldn't bother me so much, it's more that it looks like we can't be friends either now. Ugly ugly ugly situation....
the irritating points at the moment in an effort to speed up the process
Although I couldn't possibly cut mine out of my life, as she's possibly the most fun person I've ever met. Joy.
this might be the most helpful response
As someone who has had many unrequited loves you sometimes need to be told
Someone suggested that might happen, but it seems like a strange reaction to me. If you find out someone likes you, I'd have thought the worst reaction would be to be flattered and put it aside. Sadly, it appears there is an alternative route....
Move on to someone else.
I'm generally fairly low key, even when in a relationship, but this unrequited thing fucks with my head something chronic
is the sort of unrequited love where you haven't actually told the girl, but there's no way anything could happen, due to her being in a relationship. You get over it, and you carry on as great friends. Then you find yourself in the same situation, after a few failed attempts at other relationship. Also, constant "get in there my son!" comments from your friends, reminding you of what you could have, but in all likelihood won't.
It ain't good.
you have no chance?
you are a man who knows exactly what I'm going through. The loss of sanity is just utterly galling. And will probably sound incredibly stupid in a years time. I'll have to make sure I don't see this thread again.
at the end of December, which means I'm basically hamstrung until then. I'd kill to be able to take it now
booze. Also try chasing other girls. Get drunk and bed them. I find this works Brilliantly at making you forget Unrequited love.
But then trips to the VD clinic are more frequent to.
Chicks love guys who sit around looking mopey and sighing at frequent intervals, right?
It's my speciality. :)
Anyway, I'm off now to to try it. Something tells this could be a disaster in the making.....
The key is to get on with your life, or at least try to, and at least give the impression of being happy. Listen to upbeat music. Surround yourself with your best mates.
Do all of the above, and you'll find that you're more likely to achieve actual happiness with someone else. Fake happiness is the first step. Fact.
Thanks, I'm glad you think so, but unless I follow my own advice it is pretty useless.
I suppose the bottom line is, it's all about self-worth. If you aren't happy with yourself, then how is anyone else supposed to be?
I've actually been reining myself in, in terms of forwardness, as I know I'm not really secure yet. So I plan to concentrate on getting closer to my current friends first, slowly build up my self-confidence, and then try the whole romance game again, with that as a basis. Basically, I'm taking myself off the market, at least for "serious" stuff.
It's been nearly 4 years since anyone that I was into happened to be into me too (at that point in time and actually wanted a relationship/was geographically positioned so as to make that relationship a possibility)....and then I went and fucked up royally, by, not taking things further with one girl because I fancied her flatmate more......then I discovered that her flatmate was in fact an ocean going oxygen thief twatette, but, by this point it was too late to put things right with the original girl and I've now been sucked into the dreaded 'Friend Zone'.
Oh and did I mention, I stupidly overlooked how cute she was in the fisrt instance and she has since morphed from cute to ultra-foxy.
In short, I lose at life!
And yes, its making me go mad
that someone preys on your ineptitude, which is not a nice feeling
Exactly that. You know you've got problems when you take this attitude to life in general though....
but the most irritating things in these situations the power struggle is always so obvious but unspeakable...
and an obsessive edge?
Love is a strong word isn't it for what is just deep lust. You find that people who experience this are hooked on the adrenalin of seeing the person in question and thrive on the drama and highs and lows sometimes more than they would enjoy being with that person they're pining for. However the positives are manifold, you know you're alive because you are capable of feeling something for someone, there's someone to pass the time of day thinking about. Eventually you'll find someone else to like who may even like you back and you'll both be happy. The person who doesn't like you back can never be a valid option. Sure some people supposedly change their minds after rejecting people but I find that dubious. Requited love ftw.
I would say is possibly lust by another name. But I would say that the more torturous elements of unrequited love go hand in hand, and are challenged by, a strong sense of platonic love. Which makes the whole situation a lot worse.
the most common kind of unrequited love seems to be directed at someone a person doesn't really know and has stuck on a pedestal, created a fantasy around and then just spends too much time obsessing over. Romantic love is rarely lust because it doesn't have the same rose tinted specs approach to it. If you're with someone you quickly get to see more sides to them than with someone you are just pining over. You don't expect fireworks and see the person as so much of a marvel as someone who just really desires a person.
The only sort of unrequited love that could cause a sense of authentic suffering (laughable phrase I know) is one in which there is more than a distant lust. And you could quite easily erect a mystique (apologies) around somebody that you have known for a long time. The idea that one necessarily sees different sides of someone, even having known them a long time, isnt one that I agree with. A lot of relationships dont have that kind of progression!
in a relationship but more than someone you really don't know except by sight or a few exchanges. I wasn't thinking of unrequited love where you know the person very well. I'm not used to that kind. I find guys definitely pull that one more than girls. I don't know a single girl who has had unrequited affections for anyone she's known well. One had a sort of postal cum music trading relationship with the guy from field music and seemed very taken with him intellectually but other than that no. I have known guys to not be interested in girls they were friends with and then months later be interested in the same girl and have missed their chance with them. In this case if she has a new boyfriend, you blew it for the time being but if she ever really showed signs of liking you then there's always a chance and you need to stop being a shy, geek and get on with positioning yourself as a love interest.
Also don't ever become a 'friend' to a girl you like. I would never make friends with a guy I was into. It's both pointless and torturous.
'you have yourself to blame'when someone says that they like a girl/guy but the person only seems to talk about liking other people. ermmm don't listen because they're the people who turn around and say 'look, so and so isn't worth worrying about and by the way I have always really liked you.' then they leave it open and if the person doesn't want to know they find someone else to bore with tales of how some boring shit has been treating them like crap or how they like a really awful person etc etc. The stooge is the person who has liked someone for x months/years and listens to all their whiny crap with no pay off. we all need to learn to be ruthless especially shy geeks otherwise expect to end up married to someone you thoroughly detest because you were always too shy to talk about your feelings to the person who may or may not have liked you back. rejection doesn't kill forever.
I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands
Your crazy kitten smile
True love waits
In haunted attics
and true love lives
On lollipops and crisps
And that made me feel worse than anything, given they were basically emotionally stunted and made me feel guilty all the time. Lesson learned = never be kind to severely bullied people, it'll haunt you for life.