Yesterday I was walking home from work when I was overcome by a powerful ache in my mouth. Over the course of the evening, tt became acute to such a degree that I first loaded up on Nurofen, spent a sum total of about 2 hours last night actually sleeping, involuntarily yelled "THE DRUGS! THEY DO NOTHEEENG!" three times, and finally this morning, booked an emergency lookup at the dentist.
I am now back from the dentist. It wasn't good. They looked, had an expression I can only describe as 'grave', poked about in there for 45 minutes, and finally explained to me that there's something up with a nerve in my tooth right at the back of the mouth - they can't get to it and the best they could do is cover the nerve with something that "might" get rid of the pain temporarily and fill in the tooth - also temporarily.
Additionally, the man who could be able to sort my mouth out will only be able to see me two weeks from now. And he charges very "ethical" rates.
Alternatively, I can go private. This will set me back a grand. Per tooth.
But the best part I thought was the fact that my mouth is numb now, but that won't last and the word the dentist used to describe my upcoming weekend was "agony". What drug could I use to combat this? I asked. She replied that the Nurofen I'm currently using 'might' be okay, but that personally she'd be thinking of something in the line of Morphine - which obviously isn't really available on the NHS.
Just in case, I should keep myself very near to the dental A&E in Whitechapel for the weekend.
So here's the plan: I just raped the pharmacy for their most powerful non-prescription painkillers and I'm going to keep myself as hungry as possible so as to make my body as susceptible as possible to foreign substances.
Here's how you can help: Do you know where I can get some skag?