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I've used all mine up and need some new ones. Comedy answers accepted.
and have to wait for an engineer to come and ch ch ch ch check it out.
just say you have the shits. Nobody can question that one.
and shit in a polythene bag.
pretend you're on your way, then shout in pain while also incorporating 'AH ME BOLLIX'
you cant move
Well, work think I have anyway.
See also: bereavements, accidents on the way to work (foot run over, mugged), depression...
"family issues" forcing you to visit family who don't live nearby is unquestionable
you've lost your geography homework.
I've gone blind, sorry.
I need to help thewarn with his garden and won't be in today.
Say your leg is asleep and you can't disturb it.
so I say 'womens' problems'. Works like a charm.
I don't have a vag
is having a panic attack about going in to their shitty job, currently hyperventilating, you're worried that if you leave them on their own they may have a fit.
(has actually happened to me, sodding goldfish)
came into work saying he was an hour late because there were a group of stags fighting as he tried to cycle past.
Apparently they were fighting 'tournament-style' (he was very insistent on this point).
and apparently Richmond Park. Is this plausible, people who know that area?
and you have to sort it out. that one worked a treat for me!
who was able to 'phone in depressed' but that's the public sector for you
why did I ever bother getting healthy?
there is no way i'm coming into work next week armed with that little gem.
an abscess on your coxix and have to go and have to go and get it drained
knowing I'm not the only one who's pulled a sickie.
"Got *no* sleep, waiting for the window repair bloke".
Works like a charm.
Mr Belding is coming out of my arse
are you pulling a sickie?
There's a halloween party tonight that I'm going too and I'll probably be in bits in the morning
Was going to ask you to jump on the ferry and watch dvds and eat icecream :(
we can do that another time
It worked for me. I'm waiting for karma to come destroy me now.
phoned in and said their mum had fallen down the starirs during the night and died!
it was actually true.
Except if you live in London you actually might get mugged the next month and then couldn't tell anyone at work!
at least I was last time I went to the loo
you were asking for comedy answers.
and it will take a few hours to get it sorted out.